It seems Keith Olbermann's not the only one who won't be sporting toe shoes anymore. The Army has officially barred soldiers from wearing Vibram FiveFingers because, basically, they look ridiculous.

Continue reading

Often worn for workouts, the shoes simulate the feeling of being barefoot outdoors without having to actually walk barefoot, which would expose your feet to all sorts of dangers — rusty nails, feces, and we'll stop right there. States an Army notice, according to the Post:

Effective immediately, only those shoes that accommodate all five toes to one compartment are authorized for wear. Those shoes that feature five separate, individual compartments for the toes, detract from a professional military image and are prohibited for wear…

They don't just detract from "a professional military image"; they detract from "your image as a respectable human being."