Dunlap, Grubb & Weaver, the local law firm behind the US Copyright Group, has been waging a war against movie piracy for some time now. They've suffered setbacks, boosted business for other lawyers, and continue to send frightening settlement letters to thousands of people suspected of illegally downloading movies, including the adult variety. Now, somewhat inevitably, they've accused a blind man of stealing porn.

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The New Times alt-weekly empire has a lengthy story today that opens with the tale of one John Doe — that's what the accused are called in court documents — whose wife "unsealed a thick envelope from Comcast and read a carefully worded message explaining that a company called Imperial Enterprises, Inc. had filed a lawsuit against him in Washington, D.C. federal court." The letter alleged that, five months earlier, he had downloaded a film titled Tokyo Cougar Creampies, which requires no synopsis.

Mr. Doe, however, is legally blind. While it's possible that he downloaded the film for the audio alone, it's more likely that, as he claims, someone used his unprotected wireless Internet to BitTorrent the film. Since he lives in Washington state rather than Washington, D.C., where he'd have to be to fight the allegations in court, he'll probably just fork over the $1,500 or so that it costs to make it all go away.

Then he'll figure out how to do this, and perhaps pay a friendly visit to that neighbor who always has the curtains drawn.