Say you're prescribed oxycodone pills to alleviate chronic pain, and you're tested monthly to ensure you're not abusing said pills. And say you happen to have cocaine in your system. What to do? Well, just crush up those painkillers and put them in a peanut butter sandwich for your 11-year-old son, then wait to collect his urine.

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That's what Joanna Dize, of Lewes, De., is alleged to have done. Police say that Compassionate Pain Management, which tested her, found the expected drugs in her system, but that her urine sample was abnormally warm — because, presumably, it had not just come from inside her body. Dize was tested again, and this time, they allegedly detected cocaine.

The cops then swabbed her son's cheek, and the medical examiner's office concluded that one of the urine samples provided to Compassionate Pain Management had come from Dize's son — because, to repeat the allegation, she had fed him an oxycodone sandwich.

You'd think this would be the Internet's introduction to the phrase "oxycodone sandwich," but lo and behold.

[WBOC]