Fred Phelps, arbiter of doom (Photo: Associated Press)

 The Westboro Baptist Church will picket the George Washington University on November 11 for the following reasons:

WBC will picket George Washington University to remind this nation that this next generation of young people have been raised for the devil himself. From their youth, the current generation of college students have been taught to disobey God and serve the lusts of their flesh. The parents and teachers, including college professors, are responsible for raising a generation of God-hating heathens. Because these rebels neglected to do their Deuteronomy 6 duty to their children, God pours out His wrath on doomed america.

WBC attorney (and daughter of Fred Phelps) Shirley Phelps-Roper guesses that only ten people will attend the nonsensical protest of the future of "doomed america"; student paper the GW Patriot plans to greet the crew with a larger campus counter-protest.

Gregory Simmons, 47, has been sentenced to 45 years in prison for "sexually abusing three relatives over the course of their formative years." Government evidence showed that Simmons had actually abused four of his relatives, but "the government was unable to bring charges involving the oldest victim due to the applicable statute of limitations at the time of the disclosure."

George Huguely, the University of Virginia lacrosse player accused of killing former girlfriend Yeardley Love, will see his day in court: A preliminary hearing is set for Jan. 21.

Meet Joseph Davis. He likes his women unequal to men. That's why he moved to Thailand:

“Thai women are a lot like women in America were 50 years ago,” said Mr. Davis, before they discovered their rights and became “strong-headed and opinionated.”

“The women now know they are equal,” said Mr. Davis, a retired Naval officer who has been divorced twice, “so the situation is not as relaxed and peaceful as it is between an American and a Thai lady.”

PFOX files amicus brief in Prop 8 case arguing that gays can become straight, and then they can get married.

And finally, in non-bad-guy-related-news: Steven Colbert wears lipstick in front of Congress. The List finds the most offensive products for female Redskins* fans to wear. And Jeannie DeAngelis thinks thoughts for the children, in "American Thinker": "sanctimonious liberal educators believe they are fulfilling a higher calling if middle-school students are shielded from drinking Yoo-Hoo while being instructed how to properly place a condom on a cucumber."

* Still racist.