Last week, retired Army man Joseph A. Rehyansky took to the Daily Caller to float a final solution to the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell conundrum—and homosexuality in general! The three-point strategy went like this: Bar gay men from the military; allow lesbians to serve; then, give straight GIs a "fair shot" at turning lesbians hetero.
Hours after the piece aired, the Daily Caller redacted the final portion of Rehyansky's argument: "my solution would get the distaff part of our homosexual population off our collective 'Broke Back,' thus giving straight male GIs a fair shot at converting lesbians and bringing them into the mainstream." For some reason, Daily Caller editor Peter Tucci has now taken it upon himself to defend Rehyansky's work.
Three reasons why everyone on the Internet is a horrible no good very bad person, except for Joe Rehyansky and anyone else who writes for the Daily Caller:
1. It was a joke. Tucci argues that Rehyansky's was a "sarcastic comment" that should never have been taken "at face value." Clearly, it was a joke—Rehyansky shows his hand when he engages in the time-honored conservative tradition of incorporating ill-informed Brokeback Mountain puns into political argument. But humor isn't value-neutral. Some jokes, for example, signal that the author finds corrective rape of lesbians hilarious. Even the Daily Caller can recognize this—it zapped Rehyansky's comment almost immediately after publishing it.
2. Biased sensationalist bloggers ruined the Internet, and also America. "[T]he internet makes it possible for people to tune out opposing viewpoints by only visiting sites that reinforce their own views. In other words, the web nurtures closed-mindedness and gullibility," Tucci writes in a piece marked "Opinion" on an Internet publication run by a conservative television commentator and former adviser to Vice President Dick Cheney that refuses to admit it's for conservatives even as it trades in tell-tale Brokeback puns. Anyway, bias! It is just terrible. "In a world where the journalists are biased and the readers are inclined to accept whatever the journalists tell them, rumors and distortions can spread at incredible speeds," Tucci sniffs. "This is the world we now live in. Just ask Joe Rehyansky."
3. One gay person liked it. I did ask Joe Rehyansky, and after dinging me for my "cheap-shot technique" (read it here!), he volunteered this information: "I have 'at least' one gay friend who, BTW, heartily approved of my article," Rehyansky told me via e-mail. And there may be even more gay and lesbian Rehyansky supports out there somewhere: "I say 'at least' because I don't ask and they don't tell and, in general, I could not care less."