Astrology something something (Photo: Associated Press)

THIS AFTERNOON, seven members of the Westboro Baptist Church will protest the American University. OBEY IN A NON-DISCLOSED MANNER! Or else, something! In the words of WBC spokesperson Shirley Phelps-Roper, who chimed in via e-mail: "The time grows so very, very short! The destruction of this nation is imminent! The ONLY option is to OBEY, or perish! Thanks for asking.”

END TIMES, indeed: Earth wobble or no Earth wobble, I refuse to be a Taurus.

AND AFTER THE JUMP, back to reality: 2011's prospects for same-sex marriage around the country; Navy's anti-gay videotapes replaced with karaoke; man sentenced for anti-trans assault:

DIMAS MELGER has been sentenced to 14 months in prison for assaulting a transgender woman: "Melgar approached [two trans women] in March 2010 at the corner of 14th and Shepherd streets N.W. and shouted that he hates all gay people, authorities said. Melgar, who didn’t know the victims, then picked up a metal pole and struck one of the victims in the face, authorities said. The victim suffered a cut lower lip and lacerations to her chin."

MARYLAND GAY MARRIAGE legislation nears introduction. In the state's House, the bill is to be co-sponsored by freshman lawmaker Del. Keiffer Mitchell of Baltimore. From Equality Maryland: "Mitchell, a freshman in the body, is linking his sponsorship of the legislation to his family's history. On twitter he wrote: 'In 1967, my uncle passed the legislation lifting the ban on interracial marriages in Maryland. Today I carry on that legacy.'"

MARRIAGE OPPONENT WON'T FILIBUSTER: "Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller opposes gay unions, civil or otherwise, but says he'll cast a vote to cut off a filibuster in the Senate, a procedural hurdle that requires more votes than final passage. He predicted Wednesday that the measure would come up early in the session and guessed that conservatives and African-Americans in the body will oppose it."

ALSO mulling same-sex marriage: New York and Rhode Island.  MEANWHILE Same-sex marriage in New Hampshire faces a possible repeal, while North Carolina, Indiana and Pennsylvania consider banning gay marriage outright.

THE ENTERPRISE—the Navy vessel, not the starship—will now boost morale via karaoke instead of anti-gay soft-core videotapes, the New York Times reports.

METRO WEEKLY checks in on local trans activist Earline Budd, who has just been released from months of hospitalization after a problematic surgery to treat colon cancer.