Sex and the Supremes

"YUM. JOHNNY HULK TASTED LIKE FRESH GORILLA." — A line from the debut novel of Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

"WE'RE TELLING": A new blog aimed at anonymously sharing stories of sexual assault. "I let him do so many things to me and my body because I was scared of losing him and scared of him hurting me. I was so scared. This is such a ridiculous thing to say, but I’m so worried of people judging me—judging my story, judging my resistance—hell, I’m even worried about people judging my grammar and sentence structure, because it is going down the shitter trying to tell this story. Usually I can write pretty damn well, but all I can get out here are little sentence fragments that are poorly worded. I’m worried that you, you reading this, will think that I’m stupid and that I deserved it…and really, that’s what I’m always afraid of. Nobody held a knife to my throat or pinned me down, so my story isn’t valid. But I’m still terrified."

AFTER THE JUMP: Chick-Fil-A funds anti-gays; Etsy markets rape jokes; Scalia explains why women are not covered by the U.S. Constitution:

CHICK-FIL-A: Anti-gay?

PROTESTERS lobby Etsy to remove rape, Down Syndrome jokes from its merchandise.

CLARENCE THOMAS EX Lillian McEwen has inked a deal for a "sexually driven" memoir of her relationship with the now-Supreme Court justice, entitled DC Unmasked and Undressed.

MEANWHILE, KATHRYN JEAN LOPEZ instructs new members of Congress to keep it in their pants: "There will be times where you'll find yourself feeling lonely and misunderstood in this demanding job you campaigned for. There will be times you'll find someone willing to make you feel otherwise. Caution."

SUPREME COURT JUSTICE Antonin Scalia expands on his opinion that the 14th Amendment to the constitution does not prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex: "Yes, yes. Sorry, to tell you that. ... But, you know, if indeed the current society has come to different views, that's fine. You do not need the Constitution to reflect the wishes of the current society. Certainly the Constitution does not require discrimination on the basis of sex. The only issue is whether it prohibits it. It doesn't. Nobody ever thought that that's what it meant. Nobody ever voted for that. If the current society wants to outlaw discrimination by sex, hey we have things called legislatures, and they enact things called laws. You don't need a constitution to keep things up-to-date. All you need is a legislature and a ballot box. You don't like the death penalty anymore, that's fine. You want a right to abortion? There's nothing in the Constitution about that. But that doesn't mean you cannot prohibit it. Persuade your fellow citizens it's a good idea and pass a law."