Pro tip: Reclaim your husband from his deceased brother's wife. (Photo: Associated Press)

If you have gone five years without sleeping with a woman, try counseling, yoga, and meditation until you stop hating yourself. If a woman so much as senses the phrase "I feel broken," she'll climb out the nearest bathroom window. The friend who is using you as a "hollaback girl" is not your friend. "Stop touching my Legos!" is not a sentiment on which to build a relationship. [Miss Information]

When paying your sole bridesmaid to design her own dress for your wedding, it is not a Bridezilla move to request that she not make the dress white, regardless of Pippa Middleton's attire at her sister's royal affair. Pretend you didn't hear when others question the legitimacy of your breasts. Confront your husband about the mystery $500 jewelry credit card charge that never made its way to your neck. Lying is wrong, but just because your kids asked you when you started having sex doesn't mean you have to answer them. Your brother-in-law's widow should be able to visit the grocery store without consulting her new proxy husband (yours). Strike a middle ground between expressing relief over your father's suicide and putting on a faux-grief-stricken face. Confront your friend about her bully mom, not the mom herself. It is acceptable for your best friend to continue to attend weddings after conspicuously missing yours half a decade ago. Tell your coworker to stop quizzing you on the contents of your womb. Your wife is allowed to visit her mother when she wants. Explain to your co-worker that he is required to wear deodorant at work regardless of his feelings on its carcinogenic properties. Send a bottle of wine to the guy who demanded money for returning your cell phone.  [Dear Prudence]

It is classy for a pregnant woman who has decided to have an abortion to inform her sex partner about the event, unless she thinks he'll employ coercion or violence to change her mind, because it will make him more cautious with his semen and maybe get him on the pro-choice wagon, or possibly just give him an opportunity to plead his case for keeping the pregnancy. Block all communication with the ex-boyfriend who has threatened to publicly accuse you of raping him because he only had sex with you under the condition that you would be together forever. [Savage Love]

PANCAKE AND WAFFLE HINT: Cook once, eat twice. OATMEAL HINT: Grind several nuts, for flavor. CHEESE TIP: Cheaper in blocks. [Hints from Heloise]

If you are otherwise mentally stable but, several years ago, had a spiritual premonition that your life would end at 58, and you plan to spend your 57th year ticking off bizarre items on your bucket list, don't tell your family in a dramatict reveal; it's less weird to just tell them now. Cohabitation begets leases, mortgages, shared possessions, mutual friends, hopes, pets, and kids. [Carolyn Hax]