Advice for users of napkins, drugs, and dildos. (Photo: Associated Press)
Truncating the week's advice columns:
It is a bit ridiculous for your mutual friends to have to pass notes to get you and your ex-boyfriend to talk after class. Do not contact your in-laws regarding their ongoing campaign to convince your husband to annul your marriage. Some people delight in boisterous young kids; everyone else suffers. Your fairy tale princess upbringing has instilled you with nonsensical ideas about gender roles that you apply unevenly to your relationship in an attempt to recoup some of the egregious funds you spend on rent. It is not permissible for your spouse to have a "secret friend" if they respond to your discovery of said friend by screaming at you and maligning your competence and dignity. [Carolyn Hax]
On Tuesday, D.C. Councilmember David Catania introduced legislation that would allow District women to obtain birth control pills over the counter without a doctor's prescription. Catania argues that the legislation would increase reproductive health choices for low-income women, who often face financial and logistical barriers to accessing timely doctor's appointments. Ward 7 Councilmember Yvette Alexander has emerged as the main opponent of Catania's bill. "I'm going to do whatever it takes that this legislation will not see the light of day," Alexander told NewsChannel 8's Phil Stewart this week, adding: "Would Mr. Catania have a female loved one, someone close to him take a prescribed medication without consulting their doctor? That's the question he needs to ask himself."
Identity politics alert: Alexander is a straight woman! Catania is a gay man! What implications could these personal details possibly have on District policymaking? Enter Twitter:
From The Hill Is Home: "We are a community of professional over-achievers—we are doctors and lawyers, writers and editors, white house staffers and congressional aides–but are we under-achievers in bed? . . . When I spent as much time thinking about and having sex as I did working, my relationships and my performance at work all seemed to improve."
So what did you do this week? Put in 60 hours on that new case, sit the kids in front of the TV, and log 64 hours of sexual activity? I can only really think of one profession where plotting and having sex more than 40 hours a week is going to have a positive effect on work "performance."
AFTER THE JUMP: Women (not) in comedy; same-sex marriage marches on; lesbian jokes:
In the Washington City Paper this week, Alan Suderman wonders why D.C. has "only three female councilmembers on a 13-member legislative body," and why, in the current special election for at-large councilmember, there are "no serious women contenders anywhere to be found."
Suderman interviews two of the three sitting female councilmembers for their insights into the gender disparity. "Women are turned off by nasty politics. And we've had a good dose of that lately," Ward 4's Muriel Bowser submitted. Added Ward 7's Yvette Alexander: "When I was running, a lot of women even stated to me that they didn’t feel as confident voting for a woman than a man."
Shortly after midnight on Tues., Feb. 1, a new Twitter account emerged dedicated to one of D.C.'s most popular gay bars: @CobaltDCSucks. "Lking for fun place to go out? Don't go to @CobaltDC," the self-described "Cobalt Hatr" tweeted.
Each year, the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence assembles a grim account of state residents who died as a result of domestic violence, who killed them, and how they were killed. Thirty-eight Maryland residents died as a result of domestic violence in the MNADV's latest accounting period, which stretches from July 2009 to June 2010.
This year, Maryland men and women were equally likely to die as a result of domestic violence, but men were much more likely to commit domestic violence murders. That's because the MNADV counts all deaths that arise from a violent domestic situation—including abusers who killed themselves or were killed by police, and men killed by their partner's exes.
ANOTHER ENTRY in the "women belong in the home" file: The Frederick County Md. Board of County Commissioners has voted to cut Head Start funding by 50 percent, suggesting that women just stay home and home-school the county's children instead. "As many of you know, I had a lot of kids, and my wife stayed home, at significant sacrifice, during those early years, because she knew she had to be with those kids at that critical age," Commissioner C. Paul Smith said. "I know everybody isn’t able to survive doing that, but clearly, as we can strengthen marriage we can decrease the children that we have to reach."
Role models Palin and Bachmann (Photo: Associated Press)
Last weekend marked the 38th annual meeting of the Conservative Political Action Conference—and the first since the election cycle hailed as “The Year of the Conservative Woman.” To mark the occasion, the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute has gathered 200 young conservative women into one room for its “Woman of the Year” banquet. The institute lined the girls’ seats with free copies of David Limbaugh’s new book and glossy brochures protesting the “Vagina Monologues.” As the program begins, the students at my table pick at pesto grilled chicken and bury their noses in “Sense and Sexuality,” a pamphlet that promises “real protection in a hooked-up world.” Topics include “risky sex” and “beer goggles.”
For the editors of George Washington University student newspaper the Hatchet, the campus sex column poses a perennial staffing problem. "Sex is a tricky subject," Hatchet editor in chief Lauren French says. Even "the best sex and relationship columnists offend someone." So last fall, French expressed interest in recruiting a diverse army of writers, male and female, gay and lesbian; if the column was going to offend, it would at least offend equally. But the paper's first columnist, a straight guy, only made it through one column; later in the semester, he was replaced by another straight guy, Harrison Levitan. Levitan's column topics have included why men are biologically hardwired to be jerks and why campus women refuse to consent to sex with "nice" guys.
"I have no idea why it is so hard to find people a diverse group of people to write a sex column," French told me via e-mail this week. "I imagine students are worried about future job prospects when attaching their name to these types of columns." Throughout the year, French and her staff have made efforts to convince George Washington sex writers to come out of the closet: "This year we've put messages out on Facebook and Twitter, we've placed ads in the paper and we’ve e-mailed different student orgs on campus asking for writers," French says. "Maybe this well help: If you want to write about sex, please e-mail me! We would love to have you!"
Marion Barry stands up for the men. (Photo: Jay Westcott)
INSIDE the federal class-action lawsuit filed yesterday on behalf of victims of military sexual assault: "More than a dozen female and two male current or former service members say servicemen get away with rape and other sexual abuse and victims are too often ordered to continue to serve alongside those they say attacked them. . . .In one incident, an Army Reservist says two male colleagues raped her in Iraq and videotaped the attack. She complained to authorities after the men circulated the video to colleagues. Despite being bruised from her shoulders to elbows from being held down, she says charges weren't filed because the commander determined she 'did not act like a rape victim' and 'did not struggle enough' and authorities said they didn't want to delay the scheduled return of the alleged attackers to the United States."
MARION BARRY is concerned that Rochelle Webb, interim head of D.C.'s Department of Employment Services, hasn't hired enough men:
Last week, a coalition of George Washington University students launched the "3,000 Campaign," an effort to raise awareness of sexual assault on campus. The campaign was inspired by a recent report on G.W.'s sexual assault services that called rape "an underreported and silent problem" at the school. In order to side-step the stigma around discussing sexual assault, the 3,000 Campaign launched a Formspring page where students can file anonymous accounts of their experiences with sexual assault. Now, the site hosts nearly 50 anonymous contributions that illustrate the complexity of the sexual assault problem on today's campuses. Here's what GW students have to say about assault:
For three days this weekend, an unidentified downtown D.C. hotel will be converted into a "labyrinth of playspaces" spanning "the entire ballroom level of the hotel" for "a total of 20,000 sq ft." of "special spaces for Shibari, Wrestling, Spirituality, Medical, a Theater"—"and of course, Sex-O-Rama."
Commandeering the hotel is Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire, a "weekend convention for open-minded adults from all walks of life" who are interested in exploring "the many facets of sexuality." Among them: swinging, polyamory, flogging, sensory deprivation, Tantra, paganism, Vampirism, and "blood play." An exploration of Dark Odyssey's offerings, after the jump:
AND VICTORY! Two more state Senators have expressed their support of same-sex marriage in Maryland, with a third Senator promising to cast the deciding vote in favor of marriage equality in a vote expected later this week.
ALSO STAGING PROTESTS this Valentine's Day, despite a lack of legislative movement on the issue: Gay Virginians, who headed to Norfolk Circuit Court in an attempt to secure same-sex marriage licenses against the state's code:
EMASCULATION STATION: In "Hopkins men emasculated by their girlfriends," Johns Hopkins News-Letter dating columnist Katelin Witzke reports that "Several of my friends who have been in committed relationships here have ended up being brow-beaten and emotionally manipulated by their girlfriends." HERE'S THE DATA: "A friend of mine was telling me about one of her guy friends who was in a relationship with a girl his sophomore year . . . " And who is to blame for this well-sourced phenomenon? AMBITIOUS WOMEN: "These situations always seem to be centered around a specific type of personality in our classmates; girls with very assertive, high maintenance personalities who pair themselves with guys that tend to be a little more passive - not necessarily meek, but non-confrontational," Witzke reports. "The combination of these personalities tends to be destructive as one personality always overtakes the other. With the number of highly assertive, ambitious women on campus, it probably shouldn't be so surprising that there have been so many relationships like this."
AFTER THE JUMP: Interracial daters hook up on-line; fourth years hook up short-term; bros hook up for Call Of Duty:
A year and a half ago, a District judge decided that people like Quinlan should be protected against discrimination in the District of Columbia, citing the D.C. Human Rights Act's sexual orientation protections. PFOX heralded the ruling, but I struggled to find a single person who identified as formerly gay in the District of Columbia who could possibly benefit from that new protection. Finally, Quinlan has arrived to test out D.C.'s newly ex-gay-tolerant atmosphere! He spent his visit asking "homosexuals" to prove they were born gay.
Valentine's Day for straights, gays, and ex-gays. (Photo: Associated Press)
VALENTINE'S DAY RALLY planned for the Maryland State House in Annapolis today to push for gay marriage in the state; according to the Washington Blade, Maryland state Senator Joan Carter Conway, a Democrat, said she would cast the deciding vote in favor of same-sex marriage in Maryland if the measure is one vote short of passing.
EX-GAY LOVE: Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays discusses its experience counseling gay Republicans on their ability to deny their sexual orientation at last weekend's Conservative Political Action Conference:
Young women and the pro-life movement (Photo: TBD Staff)
This morning, CPAC attendees gathered to discuss the "plans and goals" of the "pro-life movement." That agenda has been set—or announced, at least—almost exclusively by young women. The moderator of the abortion discussion, 47-year-old Focus on the Family lobbyist Tim Goeglein, showered praise on the work of Live Action's Lila Rose—she is the "voice of a new generation," one that "understands the tragedy of abortion"—then handed the microphone to lawyer Anna Franzonello, counsel for Americans United for Life; activist Kristan Hawkins, executive director for Students for Life; and political fundraiser Erin DeLullo of DefundAbortion.org.
"We poll more pro-life than our parents, but we see it in a different way," Hawkins says of her post-Roe generation. And in this iteration of the movement, there are no excuses. "I am unabashedly an abortion abolitionist," Hawkins says. "If you don’t have the right to exist, why bother protecting your other rights?"
It's 7 p.m. in the Virginia ballroom of the Marriott Wardman Park, and attendees of the Conservative Political Action Conference are ready to unwind. Blue and red spotlights twirl on a small stage at the front of the room. Mixed drinks are flowing at $8 a pop. "We're here to celebrate the fact that we're right!" announces Victoria Jackson, the high-voiced platinum blond who made her mark on mainstream comedy in six seasons on Saturday Night Live. Jackson launches into her first bit. "Two blonds walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it!" Jackson's voice warbles deliberately. Her own blond hair is gathered high on her head, wrapped in a polka-dot scarf. "What did the blond say when she opened the box of Cheerios? Ooh, donut seeds!"
"Why are blond jokes so short?" Jackson continues. "So men can understand them." Two blond women sitting behind me erupt in a cheer. "I don't like that women's lib stuff, but it always gets some noise," Jackson says.
Whew! I've just finished my first day at my first-ever Conservative Political Action Conference, and I've learned a lot about the declining state of the traditional marriage (by gays!), the danger of political correctness (and gays!) creeping into our U.S. military, and the great opportunities for famous gays (!) to network at this event.
After the jump, the lessons I've learned so far, from the correct context for quoting Hillary Clinton to the real people to blame for sexual assault in the U.S. military:
Don't Ask Don't Tell has been repealed, and American social conservatives are coping with the loss by letting off a little steam. "I'm going to say some things that are so politically incorrect, this will be the most talked-about CPAC panel today," vows Ilario Pantano, a former U.S. Marine and current political commentator who describes himself as conservative Jack Bauer. He is speaking from a ballroom in the Marriott Wardman Park, at the Conservative Political Action Conference's panel on "how political correctness is destroying America's military." His promise nets great applause from the crowd. "I'm going to talk about a man who died on the cross for our sins," he continues. Greater applause. "Ladies and gentleman, it is time to start offending!"
