The details are a little fuzzy about an incident at a New York Trader Joe’s last January that landed two women in court today. Here are the known facts.

1. An amateur mezzo soprano and an occasional-TV-talking-head were both shopping at the Trader Joe’s on the Upper West Side.

2. Both the soprano and the talking head wanted frozen vegan pad Thai with tofu.

3. The soprano’s husband attempted to pick up a package of the pad Thai for his wife.

4. The talking head’s son stepped between the soprano’s husband and the pad Thai, in an apparent move to save the pad Thai for his talking-head mother.

5. A verbal dispute took place between the talking head and the soprano.

6. The soprano slapped the talking head.

7. The talking head’s face became swollen and red, according to court papers.

Amateur soprano and teacher Marcella Caprario insisted on her day in court today after rejecting numerous plea deals. She’ll face the woman she admits she slapped, Dr. Cathleen London (frequent guest on “The Joy Behar Show”) and a charge of misdemeanor assault. Caprario’s defense to her pad-Thai-induced assault on London: It was justified.

The Market Report doesn't condone violence but thinks this excuse would be better employed in a fight over something a little tastier than Trader Joe's vegan pad Thai. Like Trader Joe's mac n cheese.