From produce aisle to checkout lane: All things grocery in Washington

Islamophobes hate Sharia, Whole Foods, and non-local tomatoes

August 1, 2011 - 03:05 PM
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News that Whole Foods launched a line of Halal frozen foods to coincide with the start of Ramadan has really riled up people who hate Muslims. Details of the Saffron Road Halal landed on the Barenaked Islam blog this weekend, drawing plenty of comments from readers.

Considering the blog’s tagline (“It isn’t Islamophobia when they really ARE trying to kill you”), most of the comments were your run-of-the-mill hateful clichés. There were the exaggerated accusations (“by selling Halal foods you are indirectly aiding Terrorism”), many calls for a boycott or picket (“let’s grab our signs and ham sandwiches and show them what we think!!!”), and ever-popular comparisons to Hitler (“They have become an overpriced store primarily for the Islamo-Nazi elites”).

But these hatemongers have worries bigger than a Muslim takeover of our grocery stores—like the lack of local tomatoes at the supermarket.

A thread railing about the threat of Islam to America turns into a discussion of farmers markets and buying locally. “The last time I checked,” declares a reader named Lewis, “the local markets have fresh produce, meat, and whole grain products and organic foods at an affordable price.”

Another praised the “little local family owned farmers market” where “everything is local produce” and “tomatoes and corn are the best.”

Tomatoes hugely concern this anti-Sharia crowd. “The supermarkets like Publix don’t seem to get their produce locally,” complains one commenter, who earlier opined on leftie scum and their Muslim garbage pals. He adds: “At least the tomatoes didn’t taste like it. I guess all supermarket tomatoes taste like cardboard.”

GrouchyFogie agrees. “Tomatoes in our local supermarket in CO taste like cardboard, too,” he writes, “but we do patronize our local produce farmers here.” He praises the cantaloupe and musk melon as “produce to die for.”

The conversation turns to heirloom tomatoes. “Every time I’ve picked up an heirloom in the store, it feels mushy,” complains barenakedislam. “And at about $4.00/lb, I haven’t been enticed to try one.” Others assure the message board that heirlooms are delicious and can be grown at home. Pinkcadlac, who previously called liberalism a “mental disease,” urges readers to try an heirloom variety called “ugly”—so named for its asymmetrical shape.

Barenakedislam says he likes the misshaped local tomatoes. He adds that he dislikes being asked if he brought his own reusable bags to the grocery store. “I tell them, No, I do not, and your mania about global warming is a hoax,” he writes. “I tell them I prefer plastic bags, better to suffocate left-wing zealots like you.” And we’ve come full circle.


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