To coincide with the start of Ramadan, Whole Foods launched a line of halal frozen foods in stores nationwide last week. The grocer also unwittingly launched a flurry of fury from dramatic people on both ends of the political spectrum.

First came the Islamophobes, who thundered into the blogosphere with the charges of “Islamo-pandering” and being “Sharia compliant.” As the eloquent pundit Debbie Schlussel so shrilly put it: “And, now, there is the Ramadan crap, solely for monetary reasons. Yes, like ALL other American corporations, Whole Foods is whoring itself out to Islam for profits…more and more corporations will shill for jihadist interests.” Then she calls the store “Whole Jihad Foods.” Not as catchy as “Whole Paycheck,” but amusing in its hyperbole.

But now folks on the other end of the political spectrum have accused the grocer of pandering—to the Islamophobes. Turns out a Houston Press reporter got a hold of an internal Whole Foods email saying that it is “probably best that we don’t specifically call out or ‘promote’ Ramadan.” On the company's blog, an online giveaway designed to promote the halal products has caused some confusion, the email continues: “Some people have misinterpreted the blog post to mean we are celebrating or promoting Ramadan in our stores. The misinterpretation has generated some negative feedback from a small segment of vocal and angry consumers and bloggers.”

Hamilton Nolan at Gawker immediately jumped on the perceived pandering. “Are you a racist xenophobe who dislikes anything at all for any arbitrary reason?” he writes. “Simply complain loudly on your blog, and Whole Foods will obsequiously cater to your every last prejudice!” The tweets urging people to boycott Whole Foods have begun.

Except the case for this internal conspiracy at Whole Foods to appease the anti-Sharia crowd is pretty thin. Company spokesperson Liz Burkhart sent me a statement on August 2 (the Houston Press article ran on August 9) in response to questions about the negativity in the blogosphere. She explained why the grocer was offering halal foods but not planning on celebrating the holiday per se. The public statement sounds an awful lot like the internal memo.

“Many of our shoppers requested that we carry more halal offerings to meet their needs and we listened,” Burkhart writes. “We worked with Saffron Road to develop the first line of halal certified entrees that Whole Foods Market has ever carried in stores nationwide.”

Burkhart says the company was promoting the products, not the holiday, through an online giveaway and an in-store spotlight. “While some off-base online writers have misinterpreted the blog post to mean that we are celebrating Ramadan in-stores, overall, we’ve seen a very positive response from our shoppers.”

Whole Foods doesn’t exactly roll out a carpet for Santa during Christmas, so it’s unclear what kind of “Ramadan celebration” would appease the Gawker crowd.
Nevertheless, the boycott-Whole-Foods tweets continue to pile up on both sides of the crazy aisle. The good news is that if the PC police and the wingnuts all stay home, there will be more room in the parking garage for people who just want to buy halal-certified lemongrass basil chicken in peace.