The best grocery story in the nation today comes to us via NPR via the AP. A Mississippi man stands accused of some high-end shoplifting from a D’lberville grocery store. Among the items 35-year-old Nathan Mark Hardy allegedly took from the local Winn Dixie: two bags of jumbo shrimp, a pork loin, and two live lobsters. Where he allegedly put the items: in his cargo shorts.

Police Chief Wayne Payne (!) says Hardy tried to escape by throwing the pork loin at employees but fell while running away. Tragically no video footage appears to be available of the events. Hardy remains in the Harrison County jail with no bond pending a hearing on a probation violation.