Here is your proof that August movies don't suck.

Every August, as reliably as the unceasing discussion about the weather, come articles about how this month is, or is not, a dumping ground for films in which Hollywood has zero faith, either commercially or critically. The Washington Examiner, whose homepage won't stop peeling back to reveal furniture ads, takes the supposedly (but not really) counterintuitive tack. It cites The Other Guys as evidence that August movies don't suck, and actually contains this line: "Even the horror movies Piranha 3D and The Last Exorcism are stronger than the usual late-season fare." All the article proves is that journalism isn't immune, either, to the dog days of August.

In news you've heard a million times before, Lindsay Lohan is leaving rehab again, Francis Ford Coppola is getting an Oscar, Woody Allen finds NYC too expensive for filming, and Spike Lee's mouth is still wide open. The only surprise here is that Lee also gave another attention-getter some good advice. In new news, the UK Film Council, facing closure (not the good, healing kind), has spent tens of thousands of pounds (which is, I think, around a million American dollars) on a lobbying firm whose clients include empires past and present: the Russian government and McDonald's. Completion of the final Twilight movie is being threatened by "epic" gun battles and mass kidnappings in Rio de Janeiro. Whatever. Oh, and Mad Men can help you teach your kids how to masturbate.

On the video front, Werner Herzog has an aversion to chickens. In a thriller, Julia's Eyes, that has something to do with Guillermo del Toro, everyone has a funny lisp. I've never been a fan of the Duplass Brothers (The Puffy Chair, Baghead, Cyrus) but I realize I'm alone in this, so here's a trailer for The Freebie, which Mark Duplass produced and stars Katie Aselton from The Puffy Chair and looks, very much so, like a Duplass Brothers film, even though it's not.