You'll hate yourself if you miss Joan Jett.

Virgin Mobile FreeFest's schedule isn't complicated enough to require an app. But you should do a little advance planning if you want to walk away from it with more than a sunburn and a bunch of blurry iPhone photos of people flashing Ludacris. So here's a suggested plan of attack, one that's highly subjective but based on years of outdoor festival attendance. It'll let you see the best the festival has to offer, and also Thievery Corporation.

Side note: TBD's gonna be covering the stuffing out of VMFF, so please tweet your observations about bathroom lines, food quality, and general ha-has to us using either the #FreeFest or #TBDNight hashtags.

What you do before 1 p.m. is up to you. See Sonicbids Book the Band contest winners Brite Lite Brite? Great. Catch Temper Trap, who are apparently quite good at outdoor events? Might be a cracking way to start the day. But the key to these things is pacing yourself, so I suggest starting at 1 p.m. with

Will Eastman in the Dance Forest

The U Street Music Hall co-owner isn't hard to catch in D.C., but if you have kids or otherwise usually need to be in bed early, this may be your only chance. At 2, amble over to Pavilion Stage for...

Jimmy Eat World

Who in the following 30 minutes will probably play the two songs you remember. (If you remember three, we can weep together at the front earlier) At 2:30 scoot over to West Stage to catch the end of...

Trombone Shorty

While there, do not talk about how much you liked Treme to your neighbors. NO ONE CARES AND YOU WILL NOT BE PICKING ANYONE UP WITH THIS LINE. You can take a short break at this point or zip back to the Dance Forest for Wolfgang Gartner, kind of a Z-Trip for the 2010s. Whatever your choice, make sure you're back at the Pavilion Stage by 3:15 or so for...

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Because concept albums are nice, but concept bands are even nicer.  At 4, you can catch...

Yeasayer

Though it's not mandatory; I'd consider a quick spin through the Dance Forest to see if the drugs have kicked in on anyone hot and then go take your seat for...

Joan Jett

The Rockville native and all-around awesome person. Don't take my word for it — actually, take my word for it. See Joan Jett. Then, DINNER TIME or, if you're not planning to shop for shoes anytime soon, glide over to West for a few minutes of...

Thievery Corporation

But I'd opt for a hot dog here. That way you can catch the start of...

Matt & Kim

Gosh, is there anyone gonna be left in Brooklyn tomorrow? Seats at Mugs, everybody! I'd say whole show on this one, too. Afterwards, you could, I guess, see Chromeo in the Dance Forest or...

Ludacris

But unless you still get a thrill from hearing "202" in "Area Codes," or you are curious to see a real master of encouraging ladies to take off their tops for his amusement, or you are just curious how "Sex Room" sounds live (here's a hint: Like every song in his set, he'll do 90 seconds of it and end with an explosion sound effect), skip it and make sure you get a good seat for...

Pavement

This is why you're here, right? ALSO: Good opp to see how the new "transition lenses" are working out. (Mine are great!) At 8:15, or if they play anything off Terror Twilight*, make haste to the Dance Forest for Sleigh Bells.
OK, quick! Pavement played "Summer Babe"! Grab a cup of truffle fries and wiki wiki to West Stage for...

M.I.A.

Whose new record is not as bad as everyone says. And with T.I. gone, this is really your only chance to see anyone melt down onstage. You're not sticking around for "Paper Planes," though; you want to be back at the mainstage by 9:30 for...

LCD Soundsystem

Because it made the best record of the year so far, and because it's very good live.

And now you can go home.

 *Full Disclosure: I love Terror Twilight but recognize I'm pretty much alone in this