Shia LaBeouf searches for the plot of Transformers: The Dark of the Moon. (Photo: Jay Westcott)

It never occurred to me that these Transformers movies had actual plots. I just figured some words were strung together in between car chases and explosions. That might still be the case for the third entry in the series, The Dark of the Moon, but Transformers World 2005 has discovered that those words will somehow convey the following information, according to this Amazon description for a book tie-in:

The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, are back in action, taking on the evil Decepticons, who are determined to avenge their defeat in 2009’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. In this new movie, the Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the U.S. and Russia, and once again human Sam Witwicky has to come to the aid of his robot friends. There's new characters too, including a new villain in the form of Shockwave, a longtime "Transformers" character who rules Cybertron while the Autobots and Decepticons battle it out on Earth.

Oh, that's just great, Amazon. Thanks for the spoiler alert—the Decepticons lost at the end of The Revenge of the Fallen?! Well, if I know Hollywood, then surely the Decepticons will prevail in The Dark of the Moon. The Russians, too. The Russians always win in these movies. (In all seriousness, Hollywood, can we select a new enemy state, please? I know it's a pain to create a whole new military wardrobe, but I nominate North Korea. Hell, you could even dress the actors in the old Soviet uniforms—American moviegoers won't know the difference.)

In other Transformers news, anonymous geeks can be found talking smack about the D.C. film office on the message boards at IMDb and the offical Michael Bay forum, Shoot for the Edit. I'm not sure where these people are getting their information. If they wanted Transformers in town longer, they should be directing their ire at the National Park Service. Or maybe they should just chill out and start working on their cardboard Optimus Prime costume for Halloween:

In other news:

• Valerie Plame-Wilson is on a media and red-carpet blitz in support of Fair Game. "We miss our friends," she tells the Post, "but I don't envision moving back here."

• Someone finally fainted during James Franco self-amputee flick 127 Hours.

• The Reliable Source has spies, and they spied the spy chief eating dinner with Clint Eastwood.

• Uwe Boll, whose film Far Cry is behind one of many anti-piracy lawsuits filed in a D.C. this year, is often called the worst (or most hated) filmmaker on the planet, which of course makes him far more interesting than the second-worst (or second-most-hated) filmmaker on the planet. I don't expect to see anyone making a documentary about Michael Bay anytime soon:

[via Cinematical]