Inside D.C. entertainment

Jon Stewart calls D.C. 'poorly designed,' bans penis jokes

October 7, 2010 - 10:04 AM
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As you probably know by now, Jon Stewart announced on last night's show the location of his "Rally to Restore Sanity." In doing so, he turned his withering wit on the city of "Wershington, D.C." itself, calling it "a rather large and, quite frankly, poorly designed city." He continued:

Seriously, four unconnected 8th streets? There's like a New York Avenue that for some reason just turns into Connecticut Avenue.... The whole thing is fakakta. I'm surprised gravity works down there sometimes.

Yes, Jon, gravity works just fine down here. If you like, we can prove it. Just come to FedEx Field this Sunday and watch as the football passes through Redskins receivers' hands, then falls to the ground. If you're looking for something that really doesn't work down here, go with "public schools" or "subway escalators" or, say, "humor."

Moving on.

"We believe we've finally found a space on the Mall that seems useful, accessible, and at the same time synonymous with nothing else that's ever been done down there," said Stewart, who then made a chuckler about MLK Jr. and Glenn Beck and the phonetic similarities between "historic" and "hysteric." In finally announcing the rally location — on the east end of the mall, between 3rd Street and 7th Street — he added, "As far as we know, no huge, iconic event has ever taken place there." This may, actually, be true. I have no idea.

Stewart also plugged his charity of choice, the Trust for the National Mall. "The National Mall is an incredible gathering place for all Americans and it's in desperate need of upkeep and repair — especially after all of us rally on it," he said. "It's the reasonable thing to do. So get ready to rally, and remember: This is the people's space, so treat them all with respect. Which means don't take any pictures of yourselves pretending the Washington Monument is your penis."

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