Remember the face of this balloon-creature. You will see it on TV.
(Photo: TBD Staff)

The unholy alliance of mega party planners Brightest Young Things and the Pink Line Project might have been the only way to bring the denizens of Columbia Heights, Petworth and Bloomingdale across the river to less-than-hip Rosslyn on a Saturday night. Burst, the first party the groups had ever thrown together, featured their usual favorites: Christylez Bacon, the Family Hemerlein, and the featured guest, Katie Balloons, who is the subject of a TLC reality show that filmed that evening with a very small camera crew. Yes, there were balloons everywhere, and as the name promised, they did burst. Miraculously, they were all cleaned up by the Artisphere's 10-10-10 grand opening the next day, reports Andrew Beaujon, except for a small memento mori of the evening's festivities left behind on one of our news trucks across the street.

A recap:

Best way to find the unmarked shuttle bus stop at Dupont: Following the girls wearing rompers.
Time it took for girls wearing rompers to get tired of waiting for bus and split a cab: Approximately 20 minutes.
U-Turns across multiple lanes of traffic made by school bus driver: One
Everyone that entered the premises: Consented to the use of their image on TLC, according to a posted notice at the door.
Balloon centerpiece: A majestic phoenix rising over the ballroom.
Beverage of choice for the majority of partygoers: PBR.
Complimentary snack food: PopChips.
Seriously, what's with these PopChips? They are everywhere, all of a sudden. And they aren't as delicious as real chips, but also don't deliver the smug self-satisfaction of eating something good for you.
Multimedia art by Alberto Gaitan: People could send their photos in to be projected above the Artisphere's grand staircase. Many were of cats, or of people reclining in the balloon couches (Like TBD's Amanda Hess)
Womp womp: The internet kept dying, so every once in a while, the photos would be interrupted by a request to accept the terms of Arlington Wireless.
THE STAR OF THE SHOW: Katie Balloons, who looked like some sort of Super Mario Brothers plant, and positioned herself at the top of the stairs to frighten unwitting passersby.
Except this might not make compelling television, because: It is hard to startle people when they are surrounded by hundreds of people. Also, Katie Balloons was so thoroughly covered in balloons that many people did not realize there was a girl in there.
Occupants of the 'Make Out Theater' around 12:15 p.m.: Zero.
People who tried to make out with Katie Balloons: At least two
And then we learned that the alternate make out room was: The ballroom. True love all around.
Places you could drink at the $250-a-ticket opening night gala on Friday, according to @heatherhaney: Pretty much anywhere
Places you could not drink during the $20-a-ticket Burst party: The galleries, the dance floor, the outdoor terrace.
Which means the places you could drink were limited to: The hallway, the staircase.
But these efforts to save the brand-new floors proved futile: Because a breakdancer scuffed them up pretty badly with his shoes around 1 a.m.
At this point, Katie Balloons' outfit has been reduced to: Scraps of latex, party favors for guests who have dismantled her elaborate costume and were wearing parts of it on their heads.
Also at this point: Jerks are just popping all of the balloons for fun, and the sound of popping balloons is making people (me) anxious.
And on the way home: A friend discovers he is covered in glitter. How/when this happened is a complete mystery.