Photo: TBD Staff

Capitol File cover boy Tim Gunn returned to his alma mater, the Corcoran, last night for a fete in his honor, and he was sweet enough to give this sleepy river hamlet a big-city compliment. "D.C. will be a fashion capital again," he told the crowd. Tellingly, he did not give a date for this occurrence.

IN WHICH TIM GUNN DISSES THE SALAHIS: I asked Gunn about his book on etiquette, Gunn's Golden Rules: Little Lessons for Making it Work, and if he felt D.C. was polite. "I believe it's one of the more polite cities, with the exception of people who party-crash, which is never polite," he said.
GUNN ALSO DISCUSSES HIS "IT GETS BETTER" PSA: "What inspired me was wanting to help young people who were suffering so badly that they wanted to take their own lives. I was one of those young people... I was convinced that the future didn't have a place for me."
IMPORTANT ISSUE TIM GUNN WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS: "In 33 states you can fired for being gay," he said, before praising the Human Rights Campaign. According to the HRC, you can actually be fired in 29 states for being gay, and 38 states for being transgendered.
MOST PRESSING ISSUE FOR THE GAY COMMUNITY, ACCORDING TO GUNN: "Being able to be yourself."
SMILE/GRIMACE: The expression on Gunn's face as the fashion director and arbiter of taste posed with minor beauty queen Miss Teen International.

(Photo: TBD Staff)

WOOO DRUNK GIRL FASHION SHOW: Two extremely inebriated girls hopped on the runway once Gunn was finished speaking, and pranced around, posing for photos and making everyone around them nervous.
FAKE TIM GUNN: There's a guy at this party who looks like a tall version of Tim Gunn. Maybe they are brothers! Fake Tim Gunn loves the ladies, though — especially the drunk runway girls. He tried to dance with them all night. Fake Tim Gunn also seemed hell-bent NOT to follow any of Real Tim Gunn's etiquette advice.

Fake Tim Gunn chats up some guests
who are not the "drunk runway girls."
(Photo: TBD Staff)

WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS CAUSED BY FAKE TIM GUNN: At the end of the night, the drunk runway girls danced with him. He picked one of them up. Her dress went up. She didn't notice. Everyone looked embarrassed for her.
THANK GOODNESS THAT: Real Tim Gunn was not around to witness this, and that she was wearing underwear.
ALTERNATE FAUX PAS THAT WOULD MAKE REAL TIM GUNN WEEP: One woman asking another woman how much her dress cost.
GIRLS WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF THE "STEP AND REPEAT" TO GET THEIR PHOTO TAKEN AS IF THEY WERE MEANT TO BE THERE: All of them (estimate).
NEW FOOD TREND, MAYBE: Most of the ingredients in the appetizers were shredded and served in small dishes.
REASONS I HOPE THIS TREND, IF IT EXISTS, IS SHORT-LIVED: It is very difficult to balance small dish, tiny fork, wine glass, and purse. Also, it is messy.
NUMBER OF AIR KISSES OVER THE APPETIZER CONVEYOR BELT THAT I WITNESSED: One.
REMARK FROM A FRIEND WHO TRIED THE "PROFITEROLES": "I love when Dunkin Donuts caters parties."
PROJECT RUNWAY CHALLENGE OR CENTERPIECE? Chocolate dresses on the dessert table.

Making it work? (Photo: TBD Staff)

REAL HOUSEWIVES SPOTTED: One, Mary Amons

"Real Housewife" Mary Amons
(Photo: TBD Staff)

I HOPE SHE'S NOT WEARING WHAT I THINK SHE'S WEARING: Amons was wearing a dress that looked like faux fur, but it was hard to figure out what animal it was supposed to imitate. My group arrived at the consensus that it looked like dog fur. Greyhound was one guess. Ikea area rug was another. I was leaning toward Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
OTHER ANIMALS THAT POSSIBLY GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR THE EVENING'S FASHIONS: A girl wore a shrug that may or may not have been made of crow feathers.
GIFT-BAG ODDITIES: Hair products such as "thickening paste" by Shang-High, a brand apparently unconcerned with political correctness. Also, Skinny Water.
BUT, UH, IF YOU DRINK REGULAR WATER, WON'T THAT MAKE YOU SKINNY? Oh, nevermind.