The Tourist: Hated by critics, loved by the Golden Globes.

The 68th annual Golden Globe Awards announced its nominations this morning, and they are alternately predictable and laughable. None of the nods for best picture, director, actor, or actress in the drama categories will surprise you (with the possible exception of Halle Berry in Frankie and Alice, which only three critics in America have reviewed — their responses all rotten). The "comedy or musical" categories, meanwhile, are stocked with movies that not only shouldn't have been nominated, but never should have been made. Consider the five nominees for best comedy or musical, alongside their Metacritic score:

Alice in Wonderland – 53

Burlesque – 48

The Kids are All Right – 86

Red – 61

The Tourist – 37

With the exception of The Kids Are All Right, which easily could have qualified as a drama rather than a comedy, there is little debate about the vapidity or downright awfulness of these films. And here they are, up for awards. So, too, are Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway for Love & Other Drugs (Metascore: 55), and Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp for The Tourist. In fact, Depp was nominated twice, as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which runs the Golden Globes, saw fit to recognize his work in Wonderland, too. Tellingly, the supporting actor and actress categories aren't broken down into "drama" and "comedy or musical," because then what would they do? Nominate Kristen Davis for her transcendent turn in Sex and the City 2?

Never have I seen such convincing evidence that foreigners do not, in fact, have more refined cinematic palettes than we do.