Puking on a cop car? We're going to have even more fun than that tonight. (Photo: TBD Staff)

11:49: Exiting the building to find out what this "nightlife" thing people are talking about is. Thanks for reading! There are still 8 minutes left if you want to catch Aliens at E Street Cinema. And as always, whenever you're knee-deep in some weekend fun like getting your "secret places" pierced in Adams Morgan, don't forget to tweet it (preferably with the #TBDnight tag).

11:39: If you do heed Chandler's advice and head to Adams Morgan, there's some "awesome Ghanian music" at Bukom Cafe happening now, she says.

11:36: Reader Chandler Clay sends in this photo of gridlock in Adams Morgan. No amount of wind chill will keep some people from rocking a miniskirt to The Reef on Saturday night. However, the cold has shortened the wait outside some of the clubs. "No lines to the bars. No covers and easy access. Come to Adams Morgan," says Clay.

11:20: Hahahaha. From the Events section of D.C.'s Craigslist. Why is this stripper so unhappy? Is someone holding a gun on him? (Last Craigslist post, I promise.)

 

11:16: That old line.

Anyone interested in watching some adult films to critique them? I have quite a variety.

11:10: Probably the last Dismemberment update for now as the show appears to be winding down. It's a hug-fest on the stage, with about a hundred people up there. Some are "groping Morrison as he sings 'the ice of Boston,'" says our Elliot Kort. Man, indie groupies creep me out sometimes.

11:05: This is the most elaborate pick-up line ever:

Now I'm no chemistry major (history actually) but I'm trying to find someone that I can have a conversation with about the Italian physicists who made the announcement that they would have commercially available cold fusion within months. Now I know that many people, since the debacle in 89/90, have recreated the cold fusion experiment but apparently it's not reliable, IE: they can't choose when to turn it on, it only seems to work when it wants to work, but apparently the Italians say they have a commercially viable model. Anyways I'm open to more subjects than cold fusion, Im also into politics, education, history, religion, drugs, and cosmology. Anyone who wants an intelligent conversation hit me up, I'm looking to meet some new people. And if you can educate me on any of these subjects, I'd appreciate any knowledge you have to spare! ^_^

And if there are any single ladies checking out this add, yes I'm cute; however, I'm very short.... There has to be compromise somewhere right? ^_^

10:58: Here's a good one:

You're probably an ugly, overweight CL chick looking in the strictly platonic section for a "friend". But let's be honest, you're probably looking for that "workout partner" in hopes that you'll meet, hit it off and fall in love. No one seriously believes the "I need a workout partner to keep me focused at the gym" nonsense....you're just hoping to find someone to look past your busted grill and your fat gut and hopefully see "me for who I am."

Let's be honest, no one on CL is good looking. So is anyone up for chatting or some email exchanging on this freezing night? We'll probably hit it off and then be wildly disappointed when we swap pics...maybe at least we'll have some good sexting before then, one can only hope.

10:56: We're going to switch over to some more mature themes, it being late Saturday night. What's going on in the platonic relationship section of the D.C. Craigslist? Sadness. So much sadness:

Well, i have work in the morning so i decided to stay in tonight.. pretty lame. As expected, there isn't much to do at home, unless cleaning and laundry sounds like an exciting night. It would be a god send to find someone interesting to chat with some tonight, ease the painful boredom. I'm 20 years old, all ages are cool with me, very laid back and down to earth (i think so?) But yeah, anyone stuck in a similar situation? i know there's one of you out there.. Get back to me. : )

10:45: A pic, taken by a TBD staffer and Dismemberment devotee Nicole Young, who observes, "So much whiteness. So much dancing at DPlan." Andrew Beaujon reports that whoever sprayed silly string during "You Are Invited" has started a tweet-storm, and forbids "anyone to craft a lede from this moment."

10:39: This is not a happy night for TBD reporter Elahe Izadi, whose tweets just get worse and worse:

Nothing like your car battery completely dying while you're moving. #TBDNight 
And it's already fun to move in 20 degree weather #TBDNight
My #TBDNight has sucked so far. Gonna top it off with some kabob from moby dick though.
Traffic on 14 is kinda messy, near Thomas Circle #TBDNight 
3G keeps going down on AT&T! #TBDNight

10:28: Old Ebbitt Grill has closed early tonight due to an expected power outtage. Expected, because this is something they do once a year to "check the circuits in the building," according to the guys at the host stand, says TBD's Rebecca A. Cooper.

10:19: There's some bourbon barrel-aged Allagash Curieux on tap at Stetson's tonight, says TBD's Julie Westfall. Curieux is French for "curious," which is what I am about why Stetsons, which I remember as a temple of Miller Lite devotees, is serving this.

10:14: I almost got into this embarrassing anecdote in that last update about how my fingers stuck in a bowling ball at Melody Lanes in Brooklyn last week, causing me to fall face-flat and slide a couple of feet down the greasy lane, but then thought better of it. The secret is safe.

10:07: Want to do something tonight that's pretty much the polar opposite of seeing a Dismemberment Plan show? Head to Fort Myer army base in Arlington for some cosmic bowling. Leave all explosives behind, because they do check for that at the gate (and it helps to have an extra form of ID). The black-light bowling and 80s rock anthems go until midnight. Right now there's a wait list but you should still be able to get a couple games if you hurry. Yelp reviewers say the lanes are shorter than regulation but the beer is dirt cheap, and isn't that the true attraction of bowling?

9:56: Dismemberment has taken the stage. If you want to experience this show in microscopic detail, we've started a seperate live update page. Godfrey reports that Travis Morrison has backed up my claim that D.C. clubbers would rather eat broken auto glass than move their hips to music: "Finally some signs of life from you peoplel!"

9:35: The leader of our nation has spun the dinner wheel and it's landed on...Chevy Chase. Barack and Michelle Obama are attending a birthday party for Eric Holder at Famoso Restaurant, according to the White House press pool. The restaurant choice isn't going to do much to quiet folks who call him an elitist. Look at the two risottos on the menu:

"Organic arborio rice with sea urchin, langostine and petrochem caviar."

"Italian 'Baldo superfino arborio' rice set in a pheasant ragout with black truffle paste creamed (mantecato) -- table side cooking -- in a Parmigiano-Reggiano wheel."

That is some serious cheese-eating surrender-monkey-sounding food. My choice would be for the diver scallops with crispy pork belly and sunchoke puree followed by the roasted Wisconsin lamb chop in a mantle of herbs, braised lamb shoulder, grilled lamb liver, crunchy potatoes and braising jus. Wait, now I look elitist. Sometimes that's the risk you gotta take if you want to eat good.

9:26: Why aren't we writing a flood of words about Logan Circle this Saturday evening? TBD editor Erik Wemple happens to be in Manhattan. Some highlights from the island: Kelly's a Bills bar in the East Village, has "plenty of room." And there was a gallery opening:

9:17: Two other music options: An $8 drag show kicks off at 10:30 p.m. at Town. Still plenty of time to strap up the corset. And Mixtape D.C., a dance party for queer music fans and friends, runs until 3 a.m. at DC9.

Our people at 9:30 report that the white dudes in Poor But Sexy can play a pretty funky go-go beat. "Poor but Sexy frontman trying to become the white James Brown," says one.

9:03: Hmm... Freudian mistake? "Drummer for Dead but Sexy looks an awful lot like Radiohead's Tom York, only more emotive," writes Elliot Kort at the 9:30 Club. (That would be Poor but Sexy.)

8:52: ABC7 is running a special report on monkeys with alcohol problems. Someone notify Karl Pilkington.

8:45: Metro continues to try to make your Saturday travel as miserable as possible with delays now reported on the Orange, Blue and Red lines. First it was track maintenence and a busted train at Ballston. Now it's "disruptions" at both the Medical Center and Rosslyn. Which form of inconvenience would you prefer tonight?

8:33: Church Key in Logan Circle is having a beer tasting that looks delicious. Our photographer Jay Westcott recommends the Ella Fitzgerald Stoudt from Great Lakes Brewing Company. Also on tap, according to Church Key's Twitter feed: Oliver's Godgifu (English strong brown ale brewed with chestnuts), Breckenridge 471 Small Batch IPA, Goose Island Pepe Nero (spiced with black pepper), Ommegang Chocolate Indulgence ("creamy, rich & roasty w/ Belgian yeast fermentation aromatics...oh, & BELGIAN CHOCOLATE!") Beer people have put on quite the fancy pants...and I kind of like it.

8:29: Meanwhile, elsewhere in town, TBD entertainment editor Andrew Beaujon jams out to Christian rock playing on the P.A. at Chick-fil-A. "It's worth enduring a little Casting Crowns for the cheesecake, which is excellent," he reports.

8:22: Dancers in the crowd at 9:30 are teaching people how to "groove along," says Elliot. Good luck with that. It's a well-known fact club-goers in D.C. do not dance. We typically stand in a V-shape in front of the stage, with the most empty space right in front, like a flock of frightened geese. If these Batala ladies can make D.C.ers shake a tail feather, then screw it, I'm buying a wig and some falsies and joining them myself.

8:13: Here's a guide to the Dismemberment opening acts this weekend, with audio tracks, written by City Paper's Benjamin R. Freed. Everybody inside seems pretty smitten by the Batala Band, with TBDist Sarah Godfrey already making plans to join the group. Hey, that shouldn't be a problem: "Batala is made up of 75 women (22 of which are here tonight), many of whom have no prior drumming experience," writes in Elliot Kort.

Next on the stage: Poor But Sexy, a project by Dismemberment guitarist Jason Caddell.

8:05: Our sources at 9:30 say members of Dismemberment Plan is "rocking out" to the opening act, the Batala Percussion Band. It's a D.C.-based all-woman Afro-Brazilian / Samba-Reggae drum group, and they sound pretty f'n terrifying (in a good way).

7:50: No offense to hobbits everywhere, but is paying $35 for three courses at a Lord of the Rings-themed restaraunt really a "deal"? That Gandalf’s Pie better be killer, that Smaug’s Delight impeccable, or I'm writing a mean Yelp review on Bilbo Baggins. For other dining establishments participating in Alexandria restaurant week this weekend, look here.

7:36: BREAKING: TBD reporter Jenny Rogers pings us with the news that Polly Sue's Vintage Shop in Takoma Park stayed open 30 minutes late so she could buy this 1960s silk skirt. For $21, a "remarkable price for a remarkable fit," says Rogers.

7:27: Dismemberment update from Elliot Kort: "Seen a few people breaking the cardinal rule of concert-going: never wear the t-shirt of the band you're going to see." The 9:30 staff are letting folks into the back bar because of the icy cold. It's 23 out right now.

6:58: Man, I might have to take back what I said about there being plenty of music tonight. It's a wasteland out there. Except for the Dismemberment show, where 50 people are already in line. Here's the more interesting stuff in the listings. Warning: My highly subjective ear perks up at blues and hard rock and seals off when exposed to most folk and indie rock:

Peru Negro plays with Eva Ayllon at 8 p.m. The Afro-Peruvian music style dates back to when Peru's slaves were banned from playing drums, so they adapted with farm crates and mule bones. (Center for the Arts, George Mason University, in Fairfax)

 JW-Jones. The oddly punctuated Canadian singer does Memphis-style electric guitar blues, with perhaps some organ and harmonica in the mix. (Madam's Organ)

Contrary to what music calendars are saying, Wayne Shorter is NOT playing Twins Jazz for $15 at 9 and 11 . It's just people covering his stuff, no doubt adeptly though.

Flatfoot Sam and the Educated Fools. Maryland blues and honky tonk. (Zoo Bar)

Evan Dando of the Lemonheads and Juliana Hatfield, formerly of indie groups Blake Babies and Some Girls. Not my thing but they sold out Maxwell’s in Hoboken earlier this week. Folky act Lady Lamb the Beekeeper opens.

The Let it Flow go-go band plays Takoma Station Tavern. Go-go is good; you should go see some (although this group sounds very groovy and slow R&B-like, which could be a liability for some folks).

Swedish electropop group Little Dragon reminds me of the synthy soundtrack to the Miami Vice remake. Oregon psych outfit Billygoat opens; they apparently like xylophones. (Black Cat)

The Silver Liners play up-tempo dance pop, if that's your thing. (The Velvet Lounge) 

6: 35: Samuel Chamberlain checks in with tonight's starting lineup for the Wizards: It's Wall, Young, Lewis, Blatche and McGee. For the Celtics, it's Rondo, Allen, Pierce, Garnett and Erden. "Tons of Celtics fans (most of them seemingly under 16 years of age) pouring out of trains at Chinatown," reports TBD's Elliot Kort. Boooo! Go back to Boston!

6:25: The Dismemberment show may be sold out, but there's still plenty of music out there. I think the winner tonight are the local boys behind the band Overdrive Superthruster (a name that makes me wish our blog allowed BIGGER FONTS). They're definitely the loudest band playing tonight and it's hard not to like musicians who sing about a "sex machine." They'll be opening for Brit rockers Fight the Bear at Jammin' Java. Picking through the Myspace, will have more music options in a minute.

6: People were getting their hopes up as the light-up arrival sign ticked from 13 minutes to 1. And then this thing pulled into the station:

I hate Metro sometimes.

5:52: I want to send this TBD Night out to all my peeps on the Orange Line platform at Virginia Square, assuming they're still there, which is quite likely because of delays in both directions AND a train that was stuck on the tracks near Ballston around 4:30 p.m., causing much grumbling and arguments with the station manager about refunds, except for one drunk guy who looked pretty happy to be blowing snot-rockets out over the train tracks and asking random people if they had a pair of reading glasses he could borrow, a question he put in a kindly voice but that nonetheless contributed to the all-around unpleasant feeling among the crowd.

This one's for you, guys. Get a cab like I did.

5:42: The fire bells and lights have stopped going crazy in the ABC7 newsroom. Apparently the way they cook their food in the restaurant above us can trip the entire emergency system. So you know the food is fresh at China Garden.

5:36 p.m.: You know what the people of Clarendon are doing tonight? Shopping at Whole Foods. Seriously, there is a line of cars a block long waiting to get into the parking lot. Spending the heart of Saturday night picking over fillets of line-caught tuna? Awesome.

5:15 p.m.: Welcome to TBD Night, Jan. 22, 2011 edition, where we take the pulse, palpate the chest, prod the bunions and dive headfirst into the orifices of D.C.’s Saturday nightlife.Today is a Very Special Dismemberment Plan Edition. We’ve got reporters in the sold-out show at the 9:30 Club and they’ll be updating throughout the evening.

What else is going on? At E Street Cinema there’s a midnight showing of Aliens, a heart-warming tale of misunderstood xenomorphic species who just want to explode our hearts with love. Alexandria Restaurant week is happening with some pretty good dinner deals, which we’ll be discussing. Doing something cool or see something photo-worthy tonight? Send it to jmetcalfe AT tbd.com or tweet it with the tag #tbdnight.

What’s the weather like out there? Pretty damn awful, with lows around 10 to 15 degrees. Here’s ABC7’s Steve Rudin’s latest forecast:

Temperatures will fall during the overnight hours into the lower to middle teens across much of the area. Single digits are expected in the mountains with diminishing winds. The weekend will end on a cold note with plenty of sunshine. Highs Sunday will be near 30 degrees with westerly winds exceeding 20 miles per hour. Wind chills will make it feel about ten to 15 degrees colder.

4:51 p.m.: Wow. It's already been quite an evening. There literally are klaxons sounding and strobe lights flashing in TBD Night central due to a "Fire Emergency" reported in the building. But screw that noise. We're staying right here, to bring you the latest on D.C. nightlife up until midnight. (Plus, maybe some good photos of stuff burning in the ABC7 building.)