Potomac Fever's got nothing on D.C. Half-smoke.

The news that Josh Schwartz (The O.C., Gossip Girl) is producing a TV pilot entitled Georgetown — a "sexy soap" about ladder-climbers in D.C. — led the Post's Lisa De Moraes to whine, "You know what would be a fresh take? A drama series about young people who come to Washington and discover it's everything they thought it would be because they've actually studied Washington before deciding to move here..."  How boring! As De Moraes should know better than anyone, not even Washingtonians would watch that. But her article got us thinking about D.C.-based shows we'd actually like to see. And this being TBD, we turned our thoughts into a list. Naturally.

Music reporter Sarah Godfrey whipped up five scripted dramas, including surefire hit Bitch is the New Black. I was more inspired by Rob Lowe's new reality show, Potomac Fever — which was spotted filming at M.E. Swing Coffee House last month — and came up with such compelling, unscripted dramas as District Stormchasers. If you're a TV producer and want to option any of the following ideas, you know where to reach us. We're all ears, but our hands won't accept anything less than six figures.

GODFREY

Southwest

Georgetown? Bo-ring! If we’re setting hour-long scripted dramas in D.C. neighborhoods, let’s go with the city's most underappreciated quadrant. It will follow hot(ish) young civil servants who toil away at the Department of Transportation and the Environmental Protection Agency by day, and by night they … go to Nats games, occasionally have too much to drink at happy hours at Tortilla Coast, and Metro into Virginia to buy bed linens at Crate & Barrel.

Sunday Afternoon Darkness

Friday Night Lights meets The Game in this hour-long serial that follows the trials and tribulations of a once-mighty FICTIONAL Washington football franchise that has gradually been run into the ground by a petty, much-hated owner.

Hopeless

An hour-long drama, set in D.C., about a writer attempting to create a successful hour-long drama set in D.C. So meta! The main character, a hot-shot television writer, has been tasked with creating a hit show about the District, so he moves from L.A. to D.C., hoping that living in the city will help get his creative juices flowing. But he soon realizes he’s been sent on a fool’s errand and he ends up living in a Mt. Pleasant group house, spending all of his time watching reruns of The West Wing, and choking back sobs.

Bitch Is the New Black

OK, a serious one: Grey's Anatomy creator Shonda Rhimes has a pilot order for a scripted drama about local PR guru Judy Smith and she’s also working on a movie version of D.C. writer Helena Andrews’ memoir, Bitch is the New Black. Rhimes should make Bitch Is the New Black into a TV show, too! What do all of these D.C. shows that flop have in common? They focus on young, snoozy Hill types. Maybe it’s time for a D.C.-based show about the adventures of a single black woman in the city.

A la ‘Cart’

From the steamy environs of their trucks, the region’s sexiest food cart owners/workers battle for prime real estate on downtown city streets, valiantly fight through lunch rush after lunch rush, and occasionally fall in love while serving up lobster rolls/crepes/cupcakes.

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KEARNEY

D.C. Half-smoke

Do we really want to be known for our cupcakes? Might as well make a reality show about our most famous indigenous food. To be honest, I still have no idea what the hell makes a half-smoke a half-smoke, so this program would be very informational indeed. Also, Ben's Chili Bowl isn't nearly crowded enough; let's shove a TV camera crew in there!

Piss Off ... with Henry Rollins

Rollins recently starred in a National Geographic Explorer episode called "Born to Rage," in which he confronted his angry, and sometimes violent, past. These days, Rollins channels his rage into worthy causes, like clean wells in Africa. But in this show, contestants attempt to infuriate Rollins. Either he'll tell you to "piss off," or ... he'll actually get pissed off! The winner receives a thorough ass-kicking.

WMATA Confessions

A spin-off of Taxicab Confessions. The difference here is that there's no inquisitive driver; riders simply confess things to themselves, out loud. Of course, this already happens every day in our buses and subway cars, all of it going to waste until we make a TV show about it.

Fugazi: The Reunion

This one's pretty obvious, I should hope.

District Stormchasers

The way local news organizations cover weather, you'd think we were located in Tornado Alley, the Rockies, or Southern Florida. This show will follow several weathermen — probably, let's be honest, from TBD — as they speed around town in their steroidal vans, chasing a storm that does not, in fact, exist.