Inside D.C. entertainment

From Foamhenge, Va., comes the funniest trailer of 2011 (so far)

February 15, 2011 - 03:59 PM
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talos
The lead actors in Talos keep their metaphors erect.

Remember the golden age of sword and sorcery? It was the mid to late '90s, and our TV sets threatened to overheat from the aggressive programming of such titles as Xena: Warrior Princess, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, and The Adventures of Sinbad. Oh, the bosoms bound in leather! The long swords removed from their sheaths! The innuendo! I'll never forget those shows, the greatness of which is only highlighted by today's sub-par fare, like Merlin and Legend of the Seeker.* American cinema, however, has revived this fantasy subgenre, what with the success of Lord of the Rings, the forthcoming Hobbit adaptation, and, most prominently, the Nicolas Cage classic Season of the Witch. Will Talos be the next great S&S film?

Eh, probably not. Filmed in such Virginia locations as Foamhenge, and set to premiere March 5 at the Grandin Theatre in Roanoke, Talos suffers from an obvious lack of funding. As seen in the trailer below, the battle scenes contain a dozen actors, give or take, and the canned sound effects are a touch overplayed. That said, I was impressed by the jump kicks and wardrobes, and there appears, thank God, to be at least one sex scene. Now let's watch the man with the braided beard shout, "Traitor! To offend Talos is to offend me!"

* My interest in S&S has been fabricated for this story, but I am not mocking S&S fans. I respect all members of marginalized teenage populations.

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