Inside D.C. entertainment

The 21 most annoying, overused sayings on Twitter

February 23, 2012 - 11:00 AM
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(Flickr/Rob Boudon)

If you've spent any time on Twitter, you'll recognize the locutions below. They were funny or useful once, before everyone started using them. Now they're unbearably annoying. It's time all of us — yes, including me — stopped using the following words and phrases.

For the edification of Twitter virgins, I've included definitions and examples.

21. Protip

Here's a tip from me, a professional.

20. Fail

This action has not succeeded. Moron.

19. So there's that

There's a silver lining here, which I've just used as a punchline.

18. FTW

Literally, "for the win." Less literally: I have declared a victor in this imaginary battle.

17. That thing when

An application for entry in the Official Record of Human Experience.

16. Zing!

I'm not witty enough to add my own joke, so I'm going to write something that's roughly equivalent to covering my mouth with one hand and pointing, with the other, at the person on the receiving end of this joke or comeback.

15. This is why we can't have nice things

Here's evidence that we, as a species, are not capable of having nice things. Because we always ruin these nice things.

14. This is why the terrorists hate us

Here's something dumb or excessive about America.

13. First World problems

This trifling problem does not exist in developing countries, where people have more immediate concerns like food, water, and generally trying not to die.

12. White people problems

This trifling problem does not exist among non-white populations, who have more immediate concerns like racism, discrimination, and generally trying not to be as lame as white people.

11. Sigh

I am exhausted by your stupidity.

10. *head desk*

I just banged my head on the desk. But not really.

9. THIS

I like this so much, I engaged caps lock.

8. Obvi (or Obvs)

Literally, "obviously." But to quote Urban Dictionary: "...popular with people of limited intelligence, generally of the 13-year-old girl variety. Often used to refer to things that are only obvious by virtue of the mindless monotony of the user's life."

7. BREAKING

This news could not be less important, and I could not be more ironic.

6. Winning

I am still living in 2011.

5. So this happened

This really did happen, but I cannot believe it happened.

4. So this exists

This really does exist, but I cannot believe it exists.

3. Just saying

I've spoken my mind, and I want to pretend that it's no big deal.

2. You're welcome

I've found something on the Internet that you'll like so much, you'll want to thank me for it. But I am preempting your thanks.

1. Nuff said

I don't need to say anything else, because what I've already said is sufficient.

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