It is 5 a.m., and everyone is wearing hats. Feathered hats. Straw hats. Flowered hats. Tiny hats. As Kate Middleton prefers, fascinators. I'm at the Ritz Carlton's Royal Watch Party with approximately 250 other women who are dressed to the nines before the sun has even come up, all to eat scones with clotted cream and gasp over ohmigod, the wedding of the century. A report:
5:36: I arrive at the Ritz and am greeted by a harp player. And camera crews. The decorations in this room, for the enjoyment of those watching someone else's wedding, are nicer than the decorations that most of the people in this room will enjoy for their own weddings.
5:52: There is a glimpse of Kate Middleton's sleeve in the car. The entire room gasps.
6:01: Dress designer revealed: Sarah Burton at Alexander McQueen. Curiosity sated, a longer line forms at the breakfast buffet.
6:08: A woman at my table remarks that she has a crush on Prince Harry. A spoilsport, I inquire about that whole Nazi costume thing.
6:18: Prince William has difficulty fitting Kate's ring on her finger. A chill falls over the room. Wedding ruined! Oh, no, there it goes.
6:33: "This is as every wedding day should be." Expensive? "A day of hope." Ok, that too. You have probably ascertained by now that this is not the same breathless coverage you can expect from other liveblogs, like our sister site WJLA's.
6:37: Royal Wedding Watch brunch menu: Bangers, scones with clotted cream, bagel with lox. They are all delicious. They're temporarily out of the black pudding. Is Prince William's bald spot looking bigger?
6:42: People I hope to talk to here as soon as everyone's done eating: The women who have brought bride-and-groom-dressed pugs, the woman who stapled bags of British tea to her hat (she can probably reuse that for another occasion!), the dudes wearing kilts who have undoubtedly figured out that this is an excellent place to pick up girls.