Metrobus sign in D.C. (Photo: Heather Farrell/TBD)

Thousands of Tea Party activists will soon descend upon Washington for Glenn Beck’s Aug. 28 “Restoring Honor” rally. As noted on DCist and elsewhere today, a user on a Maine Tea Party website posted a useful out-of-towner’s guide to navigating our dangerous city via the Metro train system. Sample: “If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove…. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line.” DCist created this handy map of the areas deemed safe for Tea Partiers.

While we applaud Bruce Majors’ efforts at keeping visitors safe, we have to point out that his nifty guide made no mention of the city’s Metrobus system. Herewith, some unsolicited advice that Mr. Majors may want to incorporate into his online brochure.

• It costs a mere $1.70 in cash to board a bus in Washington. Be warned that this low fare tends to draw thrifty travelers, people of modest means, and other undesirables.

• Many Washington buses travel long loop routes. This means that, in theory, you could board the bus in one neighborhood and soon find yourself in a different one altogether. If the new scenery is cause for concern, remain on the bus until it returns to the stop where you boarded. Fair warning: This could take an hour or more.

• As far as we can tell, the alphanumeric designations for Washington bus lines are completely arbitrary. Even so, you should stay away from anything starting with a “5,” a “6,” or a “9.”

• If you find that darkness falls while you’re en route somewhere, it’s best to remain on the bus throughout the night and wait until dawn to exit safely. If the line in question doesn’t run all night, tell the driver you would like to ride with him back to the bus depot at the end of his shift. There you can safely call a cab.

• On rare occasions, you may witness a shift change between drivers. Don’t be alarmed; this is standard practice. Even so, you may want to ask the new driver to present photo identification.

• When a bus is traveling past the U.S. Capitol, police officers will briefly stop it to verify the identity of the driver. These stops are routine and are not based on any credible threats coming out of the Department of Homeland Security or any U.S. intelligence agencies.

• Beware the G2 route. It may travel through Georgetown, but it certainly doesn’t stay there.