(Posted 183 days ago)

Do's and Don'ts:

I just spent the last 3 years watching my brother slowly lose his battle with cancer. I kept our conversations real, current, and about things we would normally talk about if he wasn't sick. When the timing was right, I talked to him about serious things and how I could help his family. Mostly, he took pleasure in hearing what was going on in my life and sharing his accomplishments at work and giving me a run down of what treatments were happening at the time. I also let him know that he could share anything he wanted to with me - I was strong enough to handle it (I probably wasn't really that strong on the inside). I don't know that I ever cried with him, we had several really deep exchanges where our eyes said everything to the other. I just did my best to help him hold onto hope and let him know that I was there for him. My brother was my favorite sibling and now that he has been gone for just over 2 months I am still very sad at times, but I find some comfort in knowing that I tried to be there as much as possible - both in person (he was in DC, I am in AZ) and as someone he could lean on via email or phone whenever he needed to do that.

Say This:

"Joe," I am so glad to see (talk to) you today. I enjoy our conversations. How are things going today? (wait for reply & listen) Is there anything I can do for you? (wait for reply and really listen to needs). I would like to bring by (fill in the blank - food, friends, family, movie, etc.) are you okay with that idea? You know I love you and I am still praying for you. Chat with you again soon.