(Posted 264 days ago)

Do's and Don'ts:

DO keep your cool. This is a complex situation on lots of levels and you need to be calm and in your right mind. Yelling, theatrics, promises of eternal death and destruction, claims of perfection for your child ("No child of mine's ever gonna use drugs!") just make you look stupid. Promising to disown him if he's caught and won't work. And if you do disown him if he's caught, you deserve all the grief you've self-righteously dropped on yourself.

DO keep your talk with your child age-appropriate, but always free of half-truths, myths or lies. Your kids deserve nothing but the truth from you. That said, structure your talk so it's on his or her level. A seven year-old won't have the same understanding as a 15 year-old.

DO get your medical and legal facts right FIRST.

1) Talk with your doctor about the medical effects of marijuana use. If you don't have a doctor, http://www.drdrew.com/Topics/article.asp?id=907 is a good starting point. This site seems to offer an unbiased http://www.duke.edu/~mtr4/W20 look at marijuana use.

2) Check the drug laws in your state and locality. Find out what amount of weed carries what penalty. Federal law currently bans all possession of marijuana, but some state's laws allow a certain amount for personal use. Here in California, "Every person who possesses less than 28.5 grams (or one ounce) of marijuana, other than concentrated cannabis, is guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a maximum fine of $100. If the accused is convicted of possessing more than one ounce of marijuana, other than concentrated cannabis, he or she will be subject to a misdemeanor, punishable by up to six months in the county jail and a maximum $500 fine." (Source: An obnoxious but well-informed defense attorney website @ http://tinyurl.com/2qsve8).

DO explain to your child the purpose of recreational drugs, including alcohol, is to make the user stupid. (Note to the offended: I like wine tasting and a social drink as much as anyone. Don't tell me a buzz or a bong hit boosts my IQ.)

DO let him or her know your rules about drug use and your child. "None, ever, anywhere" is fine but your own life better match that or your kid will know you're a hypocrite. "Mommy's little white social life" or getting beer-hammered for Friday night wrestling is no better than your kid stoning out Saturday nights at his friend's house.

DO talk, I repeat: TALK with your child. Don't get all Nancy Reagan on the kid. Let him or her talk about the issue with you with no finger-pointing, lectures or theatrics from you. Limiting your talk with your child to "Just say no" is useless. Explain why you believe as you do concerning drug use.

DO realize it's okay as a parent to feel out of your depth. The good news? Help is available. Remember: Ignorance is vincible. Arm yourself with good information. Talk to staff at your local drug treatment centers for resources, talk to a rep from N.A. (Narcotics Anonymous), talk to your doctor, a criminal defense attorney, a judge, a prosecutor. Most of these people will be glad to give you information on kids and drugs.

DO love your kids. Anyone can say anything, but love is a verb, it is demonstrated in acts. Listen to your kids. Talk to them, not at them. Save your lectures for the podium. Admit your own faults. Realize Ozzie and Harriet were cartoons, not real people, and no perfect parents exist. Love your kids. That's the best drug use preventative.

Say This:

"Yes, I did, when I was in junior high. It didn't do much for me though, just made me dizzy, giggly and horny. Like I needed help being even more geeky and desperate than I already was. Why do you ask? Has someone offered it to you or have you already tried it?"