Mental health of Older...(Posted 359 days ago)Do's and Don'ts:Do's : Find out who you dad is most likely to listen to about his driving (it may not be you)and who he might best take the "stop driving" talk from. Sometimes a professional, psychologist, medical doctor, clergy, relative (other than the one who provides daily care/contact) is best at beginning the discussion and helping to see it through. Do: Consider having dad speak with a geropsychologist to help deal with the feelings of loss associated with giving up driving, Don't: Patronize him, talk down to him, don't treat him like a child Do: Provide respect. Acknowledge how difficult a decision this is for both of you. Do: Look into alternative modes of transportation before the discussion is brought up. Many areas of the country offer paratransit programs for nominal costs. Do: Have Dad consider consequences if he were to cause an accident and harm someone else. Do: Consider having Dad's driving skills evaluated by a driving school, road test, etc. Say This:Always start conversations with "I". For example, Dad, I am concerned about you when you are driving. | 
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spiritedstrider international education...
Excellent suggestions! I had to do this with my mother (and eventually moved her to an assisted living facility, too). I found that my mother listened to me on some issues more than others and to the parish nurse at her church on others. Her doctor was the third party that provided the much needed respect in her eyes and helped validate our concerns to "convince" her that we had her best interests at heart. So it became a three-person team that helped get her off the road and eventually moved to a place that she accepted very willingly.
Along the way, it helped me to think about how I would feel if one of my own children were telling me what to do! I certainly don't like my kids telling me what to do, so why should I expect my mother to listen to me? It really boils down to the WAY in which it's presented.
Anytime anyone has a difficult conversation with anyone, using "I" language and arming yourself with alternative suggestions beforehand are very useful suggestions. I have found that these strategies work with significant others, family, friends, colleagues, and even bosses.
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