(Posted 485 days ago)

Do's and Don'ts:

1. Show the person you care about what concerns them.

2. Know what you really want to get out of the conversation and use your desired outcome as a guide to stay on track and avoid defensiveness.

3. Explain how you see things and why, without assuming your thinking is correct.

4. Admit your biases and limited view on the issue.

5. Make the conversation safe for the other person by working toward shared meaning about the issues, for example, “it sounds like we both want the same thing, we just do not agree on how to get there.”

6. Remind yourself what you truly want from the conversation, for example, “I want her to trust me to get the results she wants, so I can not appear defensive about my work.”

7. Remember the elevator principle, “In all conversations you can lift people up or you can take people down.

Say This:

I realize my professional experience has been in a very different industry, but if you think about it, everything I have done over the past 25 years has been about leading and managing people and that is what your organization needs. I am a fast learner and will work hard to get up to speed on your product. More important, however, I will work to get the best out of people and deliver what the organization needs.