Groups > Japan: People, Culture, Travel, Language

I have never visited Japan, and up until recently, I never really wanted to. However, it has turned out that I have had close friends who are Japanese almost all my life. The first friend was a friend of my parents, and I just loved her. My other friend is someone I currently work with.

I have recently discovered two things about Japan. One is in the area of communication. The communication tends to be more vague and indirect, suggested, perhaps, intuitive, maybe.

Also the custom of giving gifts. I remember that from the childhood friend and from my friend today. Giving gifts is a regular way of sharing and keeping the socials channels open and smoothly flowing.

Very sensitive, very attuned to nuance, and very beautiful.

Hi, Henry, Welcome!

Why did you not want to go to Japan? Your observations are very interesting. The gift thing is very important and I don't play the game nearly as well as I should. The communication thing also seems right, although I have linguist friends who suggest the language itself is every bit as exact as English - it is the demand for politeness and not stepping on anyone's toes that makes communication vague according to them. No one wants to be egotistical and make the decisions or make suppositions about other people. No one wants to seem selfish or rude, for this reason everything is said carefully so as not to offend.

Thank you, WS.

Your explanation of the communication style seems quite exact to me. What seems vague is actually careful. It has been my observation that Japanese people tend to be quite attuned to subtlety and nuance.

I was turned off by the urban aspects of Japan. It really was a matter of misunderstanding on my part. As I have come to know my co-worker and her husband (American, but he interprets and explains many things to me--he lived in Japan for several years, though they have both been in the US for nearly 20 years), I have come to be more and more intrigued by the country and its culture. Part of that comes, I believe, from our friendship, and from my lasting affection for my friend of childhood.

Another aspect that fascinates me is the current Japanese embrace of other cultures--of their external forms and objects. The love of designer goods and French pastries--as an example, a very small, superficial example (I once saw a photo of women employees of the Tokyo aquarium swimming in the big tanks in Santa Claus costumes). It is an interesting counter point to the closed nature the country experienced before the Edo era.

Hi, Henry,

You have a very nuanced understanding of Japan for someone who has never been there. I hope you will change your mind and visit. Nuance is important since all stereotypes are always wrong and yet partially right too.

As far as Urban goes, Tokyo could be much worse. It is so clean and safe that it does not feel like American urban at all. (And of course there ARE small towns in Japan, so you needn't stay in the city if it bothers you. I spent a lovely time traveling around Japan. The north has small towns, amazing history and culture and the trains will get you anywhere efficiently and comfortably. I highly recommend a visit - (Even Tokyo - sprawling and large as it is, has neighborhoods and in many places feels comfortable and small-town neighborly.