At weddings, people vow to stay together in sickness and in health. They don't vow to LIKE it when the spouse becomes chronically ill and they have to deal with it. And if they hate it deeply enough for long enough, well, many make a change.

An old friend of mine is a woman who had some mental health problems. Her husband hung in there for quite a while, then finally couldn't take it, and left her. She went nuts and threw "in sickness and in health" in his face like it was a cream pie. Fast forward 10 years. She remarries. Her husband has a stroke at age 45. He's totally disabled, needs round-the-clock care. She hangs in there for several years--then places him in a nursing home and leaves him. Ironic, no?

At weddings, people vow to "love, honor, and cherish," and yet half of marriages end in divorce. Is it any wonder that people also don't always abide by in sickness and in health? People are people. Most want to do right, and try to do right. But sometimes things just get to be too much, and then they can't. That's life.

in taking care of your spouse. it's more to it than just wanting sex. the emotions are so torn in every direction. we become angry, lonely and horny all the same time. staistics say after a spouse dies, that the one left beomes more sexually minded than when they were with their loved one. i have seen that personally. my best friend died and her husband never before looked twice at me, was all over me in 2 weeks. they fell that something has been taken from them and their loss is an open sore and they want a quick fix. to saw off your dick is rather a radical image. maybe just spray it with novacaine for a while.

First, are you really 99 years old? If so, I admire your interest in sex! May you still be this active between the sheets when you turn 110.

It seems that your chief concern is not whether wedding vows preclude extramarital sexual activities in the event of a spouse becoming debilitated. You decrie sexual liaisons emminating via the Internet, if I'm reading you correctly.

As you say, "take care of your (sexual) needs discreetly", ie in person, not via a computer. I was reading a statistic that 60% of Internet couplings result in intercourse the first time the two meet. So, I presume the arousal that's occurred via the Web continues upon meeting face to face.

It just seems to me that sex is somehow lessened when it is not preceded by at least a smidgen of courting the old fashioned way. Discreet for sure, given the circumstances.

TonyA. I'm lost. Have you been speaking with my sisters? Otherwise how did you find out I'm almost 99. And thank you for your wonderful wish that I continue until 110.

I'm not sure it is a concern of mine. I was curious. I only meant that I don't understand why someone has to ask strangers to quantify what they want to do under certain circumstances. Notably, a sick/ill spouse. Next time; short version.

Valencia: In Australia, a dame of 99-110 years is called an "old biddy", or as in the US, an "old duck". May you live to 140. I need jokes like yesterday's (wet finger one was great). So, are your sisters, well, as "good" and sexy as you?

To business. Do you think as spouse or s/o is "entitled" to a sexual outlet if the partner is medically unable or unwilling to participate .... ever again? Is a death-sentence on sex forever imposed? Is sexual release from time to time necessary?

I think people turn to the Internet because there's nowhere else, and at least people give secret/nameless/faceless opinions.

You can call me old biddy or old duck just don't call me late for..........

I believe that whomever that wants whatever is entitled to get what they want whenever they want it. I judge no one.

It is your third paragraph that holds the answer. Thank you.