Something like:

A fool and his money are soon parted;

and: Never underestimate man's stupidity.

I want to know how that fool got his money in the first place???!

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Einstein: What do you say, professor, shouldn't we marry and have a little baby together: what a baby it would be - my looks and your intelligence!

Einstein: I'm afraid, dear lady, it might be the other way around...

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.

If you put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, it seems like an hour. If you are sitting with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. This is the definition of relativity.