I have never divorced so you will have to take this response in this context. I don't think I would have a problem pointing out an ex of mine, a friend, or a relative to my spouse. I think it might provoke some entertaining or meaningful discussion.

Bass

Pointing out your ex ought to be fine. You've not hidden the fact that you have an ex and I'm not surprised that your new gal is curious. You say that this is coming from some insecurity, but you don't elaborate. If she is feeling insecure, then you two have a different issue to deal with that has nothing to do with pointing out your ex. Since this is a new relationship, I wonder if she's just an insecure person. Do you want to be with such a person? Have you done anything to feed her insecurities? You can see where I'm going with this. Talk about that instead of what your ex might look like.

She knew I had an ex before I knew her, we had mutual acquaintences before we met. That ex and I moved on in life and love two years ago. It was a mistake mutually understood as such. I took time off with self imposed celebacy, no dating, while seeking to improve or change those things that would lead to future dating/relationship problems. The intent was to raise the bar on my choices in dating. I don't play ego feeding games, in either direction. This wonderful woman, early on, caught a glimpse of a thumbnail photo in my iPhoto library of a more recent very ex I dated for events rather then for intimacy till I decided I wanted more. That ex was no candidate for what I wanted long term. I stopped dating her. I had deleted all and missed this one. the one she glanced at. I was unaware of the thumbnail image. Her behaviour pulled back a bit, then it was revealed after a day or two. I admitted it was dumb of me to have it still and sorry she had to see it. I got rid of it. I not into focusing on problems, rather focus on solutions, get rid of it I and told her I was sorry I had not earlier. I am in love with this woman, the actions on my part have been about commitment, friendship, openness, the insecurities were there before I got here. Do I want to be with such a person? Yes she is not her affliction. I refreshing the serendipitous events that brought us to meet. Everything about her is amazing to me.

I was in love before I knew it. So yes, I am willing to keep the baby, while I learn to detach with love. My concern is that if she does see that particular ex, she will use what she sees as a point of comparison. My girl is like no one I have ever met, the chemistry is profoundly delicious. I see long term even marriage some day. we have spoken about, almost got married in Mexico over the border a couple of months ago. Our body language to others tells them we are happily and intensely, attractively married, I don't want to harm her. We have talked and she is willing to get counseling. I am willing to go as a couple as well.

I never use physical descriptions if the topic turns or brings up past relationships.

The second paragraph of what you wrote is simply beautiful. If I heard that from a man, I'd sure know he was seriously in love with me. Show her this and other affection (as you have been doing) and hope that you can help her through her insecurities. Whether or not you point our your ex, she will still be curious, and she will still have her insecurities. You are thoughtful to try to keep her from something painful, but I don't think you can do that in this case. Just be as reassuring as possible that you are with the one you want to be with. You ex's are ex's for a reason.