My last MIL was a complete witch. To her, men existed for 2 purposes: money and sex. I needed to work 2 jobs, my wife didn't need to curtail her shopping addiction. Never accepted my kid from a previous, indeed, told her she was a little whore, but was not brave enough to say that to me. Told her grandkiddies they didn't need to respect me because I wasn't a "man"..

Of course, my parents weren't exactly nice, either. They didn't like ANYONE I was involved with. Come to think of it, they weren't that fond of me....

I married at 19 and at that time my mother in law and father in law were very nice to me. They treated me like their own daughter and coming from some dysfunction, I was thrilled to have people who sincerely cared and seemed to want to take care of me. I found out much later that my mother in law was just a control freak. My father in law died in 87 when my oldest was 1 and a half and I was pregnant with my second baby. How I have missed him. He tried to cut the apron strings his wife had tightly connected to her son, with no success. But, once he passed, she stepped right into my marriage and took over. There were twins still to come and with four sons and a completely irresponsible drug addict for a husband, I found myself reliant on her for survival. I always worked. But, she always was there for the kids and always took over when she saw us struggling. She and my husband would make decisions for us and he was more than happy to let her call the shots. I was embarrassed for people to know my situation, and she seemed to be the only person on the face of the earth who understood my dilemma. I finally found the strength to divorce him in 98 and have lived across the street from him and his mother ever since. I know it sounds crazy, and it was not easy for me. But, I knew he wouldn't keep a visitation schedule and I wanted my boys to have their dad in their lives. This means I've lived the last 10 yrs under a microscope and she has actually been able to alienate my oldest son from me. He thinks she is the greatest and believes I am satin reincarnated. It is sad because I loved her as a second mother. But, she is so critical of me. She, of all people knows what I went through with her son. I don't get it. How can she be so hard on me and have nothing but excuses for him. It is very frustrating and I don't want to defend myself anymore. The weird thing is, I have a little guilt about being mad at her and often think about what will happen when she needs someone to help her in her old age. She is 73 and works 2 jobs to support her son, who "can't" work. How can she possibly put down my mothering skills? Sorry for rambling. This is surely a sore subject for me as you can see.