Groups > The Writing Group (TWG)

I have a bad habit of making seriously wrong choices! I believe people when they say they love me, especially men. Or is it that I want to believe they do?

I have been married three times. The first one turned bi-sexual, the second ran away to Florida with a 20 year old and the third one died.

Well, I do believe I am done with all this being married stuff!

Once I became a widow, I pretty much stayed away from men. When I had "a thing" going, I pretty much sabotaged it until it faded out. Not on purpose, mind you, but it surely ended. Then I was alone again. I used to joke that I wanted a man who would visit a couple times a week and leave by 3 AM. Sad, but true. No commitments, no promises and no heartbreak.

After about eleven years, I met a man. He was dating my best friend. She was not too happy with him so she foisted him off on me. I think she was hoping I would do my thing again and crush him like a bug. Silly woman.

Well, this new man was kind. He was sweet. He had had a hard life. Yes, folks, I was believing him.

Since I was moving to Florida, he decided to join me. He sold off all his properties, packed his stuff, as I did, and we headed off.

He started off where my own mother had left off. I was clumsy. I couldn't handle money. He would make the decisions as I was not capable. Whatever he wished, I better jump and do it. I fell right into line! After all, we were living well, had plenty to do extras and most of the times he was really caring.

Soon, I could not even stop at the store without asking permission. I could not go shopping with my daughter unless he was with us. I couldn't say I was going to do something because that meant we were not a couple in his eyes.

When he finally made the decision that I didn't truly love him and walked out for another woman, I was totally crushed. I had gone the whole nine yards to show this man my love and my respect. Now he was leaving me just like the others had done.

Yes, it took me quite some time to recover from this one! I had relinquished all myself to whatever he wished. I became as submissive as humanly possible. Now, I had to find me again. It has been two years, but here I am. Loud, obnoxious, boisterous or whatever term you want to use! I have arrived!

andi7850, you've written a story that speaks about how affected we are by the past; and how unconscious our choices are when damaged. Your last words, though, speak loudest! Welcome.

Loud, obnoxious, boisterous or whatever term you want to use! I have arrived!

Andi8750, concur with Otter. This and other posts point out the difficulty of making life giving decisions when impacted by evil, particularly at an early age.

Glad you've had time to get where you need to be.

Sometimes we are so overshadowed by others in our lives that we don't even realize we have lost our voices. I am glad you found yours again and I hope for all of us it is LOUD! Thanks.

sometimes the very part of us that we think is evil isn't. I think this was amazing and well written, and the story itself took on life.