The Youth-Seeker: Meet Carol
Read her story and see your assignment at the end. She's in her mid 40's, smart, sassy, independent and has a great career in the fashion industry that keeps her in Manolo Blahniks, and out among some very attractive younger men. Her last boyfriend was 18 years her junior, and frankly, he just couldn't keep up with her. Now she's dating several men, although none seriously. She likes online dating because it's really easy to find and contact younger men without anyone judging her.  She worries that her personal success scares men off.  - She knows and frequents all the hot parties, dance, and entertainment spots in the city. - Working hard and being financially successful. - Has the stamina of a woman in her 20's. - She has an MBA from an Ivy League university.  The fact that she gets questions, funny looks, and whispers about things she does, when they would applaud or honor a man for doing something similar.
- The Top 10 Tips for Making a Great First Impression (pdf file).
- The Online Dating Group. Join today.  - Shopping, especially for handbags and fine antiques. - Spinning and Pilates to stay fit. - Her book group. Her longest commitment has been to "her girls" in this group.  Carol would eventually like to settle down with one man, probably someone a lot younger than herself, but she isn't looking for marriage. She also doesn't want to have children. She needs a playful and fun-loving younger man who can also be mature and make a relationship work.  Help Carol (and others like her) by answering the following questions. Just click "reply to this post" and share your tips and tricks to help her succeed: 1) What qualities should Carol play up, given that she wants to meet younger, high-energy men? 2) How can Carol use humor to discourage men her own age, or even older, from contacting her? 3) Given her experience with men being intimidated by her success, should she downplay her accomplishments? Have Something to Say? | ADVERTISEMENT  |
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Posted: Sep 24, 07 3:02pm
the wonder of Internet dating is that you can spell out what you are and what you want, and the right people respond. Sure, can downplay her accomplishments--anybody should do that, right? she can discourage men her age by saying, I'm sorry, I'm shallow, I feel terrible about that but if you have snow on your roof I don't want to park in your driveway. her ad should actually try to spell not what she's looking for but what her ideal guy is looking for--channel his wishes. "You don't want some brainless twenty-something..etc"
Posted: Sep 24, 07 5:25pm
1) Carol should play up her youthful energy and her knowledge of all the hot spots. These attributes are likely to attract younger men. She should say upfront that she has a successful career in the fashion industry because it's true. It might scare off some men, but so what? Better to unload guys she might intimidate right away.
2) Personally, I'm not sure that humor is the best way to handle her preference for younger guys. If that's who she wants, why not just say so. But if she wanted to use humor, she might go cultural: If you know the words to "Beat It," then beat it. Or she might get a little raunchy: If you've ever thought about using Viagra, I'm not your girl.
3) She is a success. That's a fact. And as soon as she and her next beau go to some fashion event, her success will become apparent. But she shouldn't brag about it. She should be matter-of-fact, that is, impressive, but not overly impressed with herself.
Posted: Sep 24, 07 5:32pm
"Are you the type of guy who really revels in the company of a very successful, highly energetic older woman? Then we might like each other since I tend to like......." and there it is, spelled out with no apologies, nor should there be any.
Of course, she might attract a few gigilos but, savvy as she is, she can weed those out.
Posted: Sep 25, 07 2:44pm
How about "A Cougar and Proud of It" for the headline?
Posted: Sep 26, 07 5:43pm
Carol should focus on the things she brags about because I think that list sounds like what most younger men would brag about. She also should brag about Spinning and Pilates so that younger men will feel comfortable that her body is great.
To discourage same age or older men from contacting her, she can say something like "While in many circles I may be considered a 'seasoned' woman, I like my man less seasoned. Therefore I seek to date men at least x number of years younger than me." Just tell em I say.
No one should ever downplay their accomplishments. Perhaps she shouldn't share them all at once but never downplay your accomplishments. I'd rather know up front if a person has an issue with an accomplished individual . If they do have that problem, then it's their problem and I'll leave them with their problem. Thank you very much.
Carmin Wharton, The Relationship Teacher
http://www.carminwharton.com
http://www.therelationshipteacher.com