Groups > How do you feel?

I have been divorced for about 2 1/2 years and im loving it! There are a large group of people whom I have seen that just get so bitter,very bitter! My family was very supportive with my decision!!!! I am a catholic, and youre just NOT supposed to divorce----ever! Me and the X are good friends, We both love each other, were just not in love any more! We live together in a large home (space) is the key. I know thats hard to believe, but there it is! sfco@ptd.net

I can really relate, ive been free of inlaws, of negativity, not acceptance,and codependency. This is my second chance, I'm not looking but If and when he will come. It will happen, I just gotten a divorce, and it's only been a week, I still cant belive it!!!!

I've never been divorced, but many friends have. How they feel about it usually relates to how they felt about the marriage, and whether they or their spouse was the initiator of the split. It's harder to be left than it is to leave. People who leave often feel relieved or better. People who get told "I'm leaving you" rarely feel that way. But over time, they adjust.

You know, your right! I really did't think about it in those terms, "there are to two side of everything"

I would say I felt relieved. Since I chose to end the relationship after trying to mend it solo (doesn't work), I left him my home and community which he had moved into and become a part of, left him all my belongings, left him my beloved dog because his son had fallen in love with her and I didn't know where I was going to lay my head; paid the rent and all the bills in advance, left him as much money as I had (which wasn't much but better than nothing), and wished him well.

Doesn't get much cleaner than that. He didn't ask for alimony (neither of us were making much of anything at that time), but I continued to contribute as much as I could anyway since he would essentially resume raising his son as a single parent.

He did try some drama tactics that were threatening to get pretty messy, but I didn't take it personally, and lovingly informed him this was not healthy for his son, and for his sake we should make the transition as clean as possible. Eventually, that's what happened.

No regrets, no bitterness. No room for it in my heart or my life.

Edited to add that the biggest gift I've received around relationships, change, and loss is to look to myself for "completion" first instead of looking to the next relationship. Issues unaddressed and behaviors unowned have a tendency to repeat themselves and play out again with a different partner.

Michael,

You always provide a non-judgmental enlightenment in to the situation.

In my marriage, I felt a deep sense of loss over not achieving the relationship I had envisioned with my ex. It was one of the most difficult times in my life. I felt like I had failed. I was very hurt, sad and angry - and after ten years of trying, I had to end it.

In any event, it was the right thing to do for me. I found happiness and peace away from the relationship. And yes, being single and meeting new people is always exciting and just plain "new".