For you Pru~

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Vi*gra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cock tails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Vi* gra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

OMG Spuff You're to much and thank you.

Hys-terical, Spuff! I like the way you think!

Spuff:

I'm only interested in a little sip. I'm too old for sex. I'd just want it to stick out far enough so I won't pee on my shoes.

Ummm, I think I remember what to do with it...... Well, wait a minute, let me think........ Damn, never mind.

Bubba

quit playing with it.

I have lost my sense of wonder at receiving each and every letter in my e-mail box. If the sender is unknown and the material is not something I want, I click their name forever to the spam box so that I know when I clean spam, I look only for the accidental dumping of one of my friends or companies I deal with. That takes no more than ten seconds because if it is unknown or put there intentionally, I do not want to read it.

I regret to report that I have, so far, lost several billion dollars because I spam all the letters from the dearest people in Africa who want to give me ten million dollars each. I guess I will also have to live the rest of my life without a penis that stretches to my next door neighbor's house for the same rationale! And, all the medications that I can get for about a ten dollar co-pay from my doctor, I will not have to pay hundreds of dollars to self-prescribe it through the internet.

I never pass letters along and if they are from the God squad, I do not read them. Most of them are from someone else's conception of God or the Holy Quail which I would serve for dinner if I could catch him. I figure that since God, not Al Gore, invented the Internet, if He wanted me, he would correspond under His own name. I wonder if His e-mail is God@Godhead.hvn (heaven)

I never open an e-mail if the title is misspelled - unless it is from my illiterate cousin, Harry. He's a good guy; he just can't spell to save his life. Also, he's always half in his cups so he probably hits the letter next to the one he's aiming at and even though that improves his spelling somewhat, it still leaves him at the bottom of the fourth quartile.

I do not rely on the internet for my prime source of information. I like the telephone for real communication and newspapers for better information.

I have never texted and I tell everyone who knows my cell phone # that if they text me, not only will I not respond, I will write them out of my will - that includes my treasured granddaughter who is the queen of the text generation - she is always texting or e-mailing back and forth with her best friend in Perth, Australia! Here's a kid who is performing songs she wrote on stage with Kate Nash and she uses that bastardized english to communicate. Oh, the humanity! But, all the kids do it. When she writes e-mails, she uses full words. At least in that respect, she is normal!

I will never give up e-mail. I have correspondences with some wonderful people who bring joy or challenge to my world. I also use it as a means to get published. Most publishers accept only e-mail correspondence nowadays for good reason. Can you imagine how much space 50,000 submitted novels would take up? They had to buy extra office space just to store it and a staff to distribute it.

Nuf sed.

Have a great day and don't let those who would intrude upon it any measure of satisfaction.