Some new words for your lifestyle and vocabulary....

kle618
kle618
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 12:26pm

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

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6 Comments // 5 Members
Nick_Danger
Nick_Danger
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 12:28pm

These are funny but I believe it is the same list, recycled from last year. i know i've seen several of these.

Scarecrow
Scarecrow
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 12:31pm

Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Medical Terminology

Benign What you be after you be eight

Artery The study of paintings

Bacteria Back door to cafeteria

Barium What doctors do when patients die

Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome

CATscan Searching for kitty

Cauterize Made eye contact with her

Colic A sheep dog

Coma A punctuation mark

D & C Where Washington is

Dilate To live long

Enema Not a friend

Fester Quicker than someone else

Fibula A small lie

Genital Non-Jewish person

G.I. Series World Series of military baseball

Hangnail What you hang your coat on

Impotent Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff A Doctor's cane

Morbid A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates Cheaper than day rates

Node I knew it

Outpatient A person who has fainted

Pap Smear A lie about someone's Pappy

Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative A letter carrier

Recovery Room Place to do upholstery

Rectum Damn near killed him

Secretion Hiding something

Seizure Roman emperor

Tablet A small table

Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport

Tumor More than one

Urine Opposite of you're out

Varicose Near by/close by

-Author Unknown

kle618
kle618
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 12:36pm

I hadn't seen the list before--sorry if it is a rerun.

Leo--your list is even longer--thanks for sharing! Do you think people have too much time on their hands if they can sit around inventing new definitions to old words? Or reinvent the words themselves? It does provide for some good entertainment.

eversearch
eversearch
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 12:46pm

I LOVE words and wordplay! I hadn't seen this one yet though I had seen Leo's before. I would have thought the "Dopeler Effect" was the result of those that were too high and so thought they had the answers to all world problems- only while loaded of course.

pickleallen
pickleallen
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 1:23pm

Didn't Jeff Foxworthy invent most of these or at least some very much like them/

kle618
kle618
Founding Member

Posted: May 27, 08 4:17pm

Jeff Foxworthy has probably said some similar things. He can be pretty entertaining.