Seven Signs Your Relationship Might Be Over

IsadoraAlman

Posted: Feb 28, 07 12:01pm

I remember the very minute many years ago I decided that my marriage was over. It was my birthday, a Saturday afternoon, and my husband and I were going to spend it together. We were sitting in the car and realized we didn't know what to do with ourselves until it was time to go out to dinner. I knew what he would prefer to be doing – playing golf. I knew what I would prefer to be doing – hanging out with a gay male friend with whom I never ran out of things to talk or laugh about. My husband and I didn't have similar tastes in movies, museums, people, activities—very few things, in fact, except our child and our home. So I used that time to tell him why I thought our lives would be vastly improved by separating. I didn't get any argument, and the dissolution of our thirteen year marriage was accomplished relatively painlessly over the ensuing months.

Sometimes relationships simply run their course, ending with the famous whimper rather than a bang. Some signs that yours might be in its death throes:

1. You find little to talk about.
2. You really have very little interest in what the other person is thinking or doing and little interest in sharing your own thoughts and activities.
3. You keep on having the same old fights with no resolution.
4. You no longer have the energy or interest to argue.
5. You enjoy the company of someone else more, and sometimes anyone else, other than your partner.
6. If you live together, you find excuses not to go home. Work is always a good one.
7. You have fantasies of what life would be like on your own.

None of these symptoms of a relationship-gone-stale are necessarily a death knell in and of themselves. With a determined intent to find a remedy, very often one can be found. One person alone who decides to do so can often breathe new life and passion into a dying relationship. It's when your response is "Why bother?" that you can be fairly sure you're beating a dead horse—or a dead relationship—and it's time to move on.

Any signs I'm missing?