I took care of my mother for more than the last 20 years of her life, building an addition to my home so she would have her own apartment. I was her sole emotional, social and economic resource at some cost to me in all areas. In her later years she said "You're so good to me; I wasn't that good a mother to you", and she wasn't. She was far too depressed to be very affectionate when I was growing up.
And yet, I chose to be there for her. I'm not martyr, but it felt like a privilege to be able to do for in spite of her "not deserving it". I didn't and don't expect brownie points. I did what I did because it felt right to do it and I don't regret a day of it.
