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She's 5'1", and weighs a bit more right now because she recently had a baby. She is trying to lose the baby weight, but he doesn't want her to.

I understand that you can't have sex with a movie or photo layout, but...

There has to be both mental and physical for there to be sex.

Just sitting around and talking about it rarely leads to orgasms - there has to be some form of physicality involved. Just as sitting and stroking and not thinking rarely leads to orgasm.

What percentage of sex is mental and what percentage is physical?

Might be true. I feel my best when I'm a few pounds thinner. I definitely think I look better. My husband says he likes the way I look, regardless of weight, but prefers the way I feel when I'm a few pounds heavier. When I'm thin he says my hipbones are too poky and I feel bony and fragile, lol.

5-1 and 125 is still reasonable, especially given the pregnancy weight.

Do physical and mental have to align before "sex" can take place? if that were the case, there would be no cybersex. Before web cams, there was only IM, and that started all cybersex stuff (talk, no visuals).

Face to face, you need chemistry, and chemistry is a funny thing. You need a catalyst, else the reaction will never materialize. That catalyst is different for different people, and it varies from the normal to the extremely bizarre (by one's standards of course).

I think there has to be physicality if there is going to be orgasms. During Cybersex, even text based cybersex, you rarely have an orgasm based solely on what you are reading. Usually there is self-stroking involved.

I think you can become aroused by what you are reading, but actual orgasms - no. There has to be touching (even if it is only self-touching).

I agree with your catalyst comment... in cybersex the catalyst is purely mental, but in face-to-face it can be mental or physical depending on the person. :-)

My husband said sex hurt when I was thinner - pokey hip bones were the culprit with me too.

I think it's funny we are expected to be both thin and 'comfortable' at the same time. :-)

On the physical/mental: we seem to be talking about two different things. The genesis of this discussion was laws of attraction. What I meant was that attraction is not a science, it's a combination of mental attraction and physical attraction and the percentages of mental versus physical, and what's exciting both physically and mentally varies. Some men like the stripper outfit, and some like librarian glasses (and some like librarians who wear stripper outfits :-))

On mental orgasms: we've all had them (I think), that's the definition of a wet dream.