I don't see why not. She'd be dead anyway, so probably doesn't want anything anymore.

Talking about being dead, I'm frequently amazed at the relative speed at which the surviving spouse falls back in love and remarries.

Mourning does not seem to last as long as I thought.

It's very individual, Tony. I'm a year and a half out from being widowed, and I still really can't fathom the idea of dating. And there's NO thought of getting remarried. It could happen... but he'd have to fall out of the sky and land on me with a gift tag attached.

I have no doubt that my husband would have wanted me to marry again. I would have wanted it for him if I'd gone first. And maybe someday I will. I'm just not looking for it now.

Tony,

Well, mourning can go on even when a person is remarried, I think.

It goes back to that old chestnut about what each sex expects when marrying: women want a man to change and a man wants a woman that never changes. Take that a step further, and I can see a man wanting to remarry to get back to normal- no change- as quickly as possible.

I don't know if it works the same for women. Anyone want to tackle that one?

d

Thanks, Katherine. You remind me how real this question truly is. I'm sorry if I was insensitive.

d

Dina... no worries!!! I wouldn't have responded if it weren't an interesting and worthwhile question.

You keep asking them. I'll keep answering.

The contract was only for "until death do us part" but nearly 40 years of avoiding any interest in other women makes it difficult to change. Now, three years after her death, I've had one failed relationship and decided there are worse things than being alone. I know she would have wanted me to move along, and would have by now, herself, if she had been the survivor, but its not the permission question, it just feels wrong. Would anyone feel comfortable seeing someone else with their spouse's permission if their spouse were still alive? It seems much the same.