Hi Tashee, It was so hard for me to see my oldest child leave for college that I would hold my hands over my ears and sing whenever she would just speak of it. It's so hard to see them go. But they are more ready than we are. Everything you could teach your child about your values and life skills, he learned from a very early age. I know you did a wonderful job, or you wouldn't care so much now. His life will now be busy and full, and you need to find new directions for your life too. Now is the time to do some things for yourself: take a class at the local college, try your hand at a new hobby, take up golf. You owe it to yourself and to your son to fill your life with new interests so you both will grow and thrive at this time. I wish you only good things. J

Tashee,

There is nothing in this world that is harder than to see your child or children in (my case leave for college). After that being said, trust that you have done all you can at this point. They will love the new freedom of becoming an individual in their own world. Yes they will make mistakes, not do what they have been taught etc., but they will also still be yours and you are the one that they will come to in happiness and sorrow. No matter what they become, you are their rock right now. The changes will be exciting and wonderful, but there is no where like home and depending on Mom being there when they call, need something, come home for the weekend. You may feel that you have lost something, but you have really just entered another phase of your life and it will be wonderful too. My husband and I have 5 children (blended family) the oldest is now 24, next 23, next 22, and the two youngest are 19. Four are in college right now. You talk about empty nest!!! My husband once gave me the best advice I have ever been given, "Honey, expect anything." Once I grasped the words, I could look at it all in a different light. Expect anything...and that is exactly what happened. I learned how to be there for my children, instead of pushing them away because something happened that I didn't approve of etc. They have a hard enough time getting out there on their own, meeting new people, getting used to new surroundings, and I didn't want them to think my relationship had changed with them. My kids know that they are always welcome and they are loved dearly. That is the most important and that is our job now as mothers. Don't worry Tashee, it may seem like it is the end, but time will adjust your life and it will be ok. If you ever just want to talk e-mail me at dlc5678@sbcglobal.net

Hi Tashee,

Try not to be too hard on yourself...you love your son and did the best you could for him. The ball is now in his court.

College is a very scary prospect for parents and I can understand your concern. There are many good books out there to help parents get through this stage in their children's lives.

Just think of all the new challenges and experiences your son will face as he goes off on his own. College is a kind of halfway house in a sense because although he'll be away from you and his friends, he'll have many peers and professionals to turn to at school who care about him and his wellbeing.

During the first couple of semesters your son will be trying to figure out how to manage his time and fit everything in to his life that he wants to do. Usually classes pale in comparison to all things social, but that will change as he gets his feet back under him. Try to be supportive and understanding when he calls and just keep letting him know you believe in him. Don't be horrified when he makes mistakes, it's where the most growth occurs.

The time that flies by will continue to do so and before you know it, you'll have a mature adult on your hands! I can't tell you how exciting it is for those of us who work in higher ed to see the changes that occur in "our" students as they progress through college.

Hang in there you'll be fine!