Posted: Jul 2, 08 1:31pm

akabukowski's PARTYGIVER'S BOOTCAMP!

Had fantasies about taking the TBD Virtual Party Hub for a spin but not quite sure you have the stuff?

Let aka be your personal coach! That's right, for a limited time only YOU can learn the ins-and-outs of successful virtual party-giving from the popular degenerate who started it all.

—Learn the secrets of "theming"

—Learn how to "employ" illegal aliens as parking valets, bartenders, waiters, escorts, exotic dancers, “medical personnel," cult deprogrammers, stunt doubles

—Learn essential cost-saving tricks such as:

- where to shop for watered down top-shelf beverages

- how to make attractive and nearly non-toxic canapés from Safeway dumpster pickins’

- how to deck out your party space for only $7.99 with a little help from Walgreen’s (Martha Stewart’s got nothin’ on us!)

- how to discreetly rifle your guests’ handbags to offset overhead

PLUS

—What to do when the TeeBeeDee front-page posse hijacks YOUR party

—How to offer mind-altering substances without offending your “clean and sober” guests

—How to manage unruly guests (18 and over only - valid picture ID required for this session)

—What to do when local law enforcement shows up (includes role-playing aka’s patented “disappearing act”)

…and much, much more.

This valuable offer is free - that's right - FREE to all members of TeeBeeDee. (Tax-deductible donations to aka's foundation, www.BailMeOutNow!.org gratefully accepted.)

Here's how to register:

Call 1-800-872-8783! That's 1-800-UR-BUSTD! Or leave a message on this bulletin board. Joachim, aka’s Personal Secretary, will be checking messages frequently.

akabukowski's Partygiver's Bootcamp!

Where our motto is: “Got no life? Give a party!”