Groups > This Marriage Thing

How to make the other laugh, How to be compassionate, how to make love not war..

Yes! Well, you're a founding member of this whole concept(the site) so no surprise you come up with the 3 things that, I agree 100%, are keys to keeping a marriage happy, strong and spirited. Not to say I'm that smart. It's taken me 3 marriages to get to understanding those 3 keys/finding a partner who also understands and cares enough to do "the work".

The three things I would say to my daughters is...Devotion-Commitment-Sacrifice.Yes all those other things that you all have mentioned are wonderful too.

Yet I have found that when it comes down to a life or death moment...All that matters is this person who is now half of ones self.That you would die in their place for them to still exist.That the truest love is a love unrewarded.Possibly even undeserved.Yet given freely and willingly for the betterment of another.This goes beyond whats fair.Reaches farther than sexual satisfaction.Cant even compare to friendship.It is acknowledgeing that deep connection....thanks for the question.

Always remember the good things that brought you together, Communication is very important in a marriage, Respect and Appreciate each other and then the love, laughter and togetherness will naturally forever grow.

be flexible, firm, and compassionate.

when the argument is no longer about what it started to be about, stop it.

forgiveness is waaay better than holding a grudge.

1. Keep your mouth shut

2. Keep your eyes open

3. Always look for a sale

I've been divorced and come from a marriage that showed my children WHAT NOT TO DO. So fortunately, in my 2nd marriage they have now seen, a very happy marriage and what a marriage should be and WHAT TO DO. 1st it should be RESPECTFUL and never take each other or the marriage for granted. My husband thanks me for each and every meal I make, for cleaning house, for doing laundry, etc... He doesn't see those as my job nor does he expect me to do them, therefore I am happy to do them for him. I thak him for mowing the lawn, taking out garbage, etc...it's not expected, it's something he wants to do for the household. Now that my children have seen this, they have begun saying thank you for dinner, for laundry, etc.. When we have a disagreement we do not yell because yelling at each other is disrespectful. We calmly discuss our positions and compromise the situation. Make time for each other, to kindle the flames, to keep the romance alive. We have a date once a week. This doesn't have to be extravagant, we've gone out for coffee to Starbucks or just had a movie in our bedroom alone, made popcorn & soda or beer. Just alone time is the important thing. Honest communication is key. You must always communicate with your spouse, marriage takes work, love and patience but when you have that hand to hold when times are tough or that person there to share things with when they are wonderful it certainly makes all the difference in the world!