It sounds like your daughter might have a little OCD. This can be debilitating to all involved. I'm thinking that school might see it with the kids and speak up if it gets out of hand. Speaking your mind can also get in the way, especially if you already have a strained relationship. Look up things on OCD or germ phobias. See if there are techniques to combat the thinking or ask a professional. You either have long term relationship problems with your step daughter that someone could help you with or her obsession with things is in the way of having relationships. I' guessing that you and your home are not filthy and this is not a reasonable perception. Good luck to you, It is difficult. LSLMom