restraining orders stop nothing.

I don't remember that (not a favourite show), but they stole the idea from my first wife. I came home from work one night to a note on the door that said "We're gone. My Lawyer will be in touch with you."

As to other women "Disappearing", I had a friend who moved out her apartment in the middle of the night and left no forwarding address, and a chat friend who disappeared in mid-chat one night. It happens. Gender Equality is GREAT!

I haven't thought "just ignore her and she'll go away" was acceptable since I was 17 or 18-y-o....

As a recipient of a "I will always cherish the time that I spent with you....I no longer wish to be friends with you" email, I will say that it has been a rough year.

No final meeting, no nothing. It is like he was a figment of my imagination. The sex, trips, spending

time with his friends all were in my imagination?

It wasn't enough to call him a variety of negative

names...he hurt me and I had no recourse but to

reply to his hasty communication with "I too will

cherish....I wish you well" blurb.

The email wasn't polite, kind, or honest. It merely

allowed him to be the one in control; a role which he

held during the entire 2 year "relationship".

As a result, I am afraid of trying again. I do realize that I am better without him but it bothers me that I

thought that I knew him, but in actuality I didn't at all.

-Laura.

Ouch. That hurts. I am sorry for that.

I still prefer some break up to no break up, which seems to be the fashion where I live. Men just disappear, never to be seen again. And it happens that way after long relationships too. A mystery!

Once again I find myself wondering if I have a BF or not. When he said good night the last time I saw him, a week ago... was that really good bye, and he just didn't have the stones to say it? Chicken.

"Every" person deserves to hear a goodbye, whether in person, email, phone, or singing telegram.

Laura -- Yes, ouch. Is he thoughtless? Afraid? Absoultely uncaring?

I think it is just fear.

My suggestion is for you not to have fear over it going forward, but count it as just another learning experience. It will be much easier to do so after some time has passed.

I once had an experience with a surprize/shocking break-up. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say against my better judgment I traveled very far on a very limited budget and he suddenly broke up with my while I was in a foriegn country. No place to stay, restricted ticket so I couldn't leave...it was really shocking. In the moment, I felt all sorts of things. But, time really does change your perspective. Today I just shake my head and laugh about it. He is who he is, and I don't let that define me.

My best advice is to not let it stop you from living life. He affected your past; leave the future open to a more positive experience.

Don't know about anyone else, but to me the only right thing is to do it in person (unless there's some really important reason why you can't). I was in a long-distance relationship and it didn't grow so it had to end. We talked over the phone, wrote and emailed about it, but I drove there to finalize it in person. I'm glad I did--it just seemed like the right thing. Had a friend (back in the 70's) who hitch-hiked to Montana from NY to break up in person with his girlfriend. I've always admired him for it.

I do agree. It is cowardly to have a break up via an email. Since they are wrong so they do not want to face the person to whom they write.It is heart breaking shocking for the other person