I love it.

Humor is a defense mechanism for me. When I lose the ability to laugh in the face of tears and anguish, its time for me to have that candle.

Isn't that the truth! As I thought about this thread again I was reminded of some traditional cultures where the elderly are allowed to make the decision when it is their time to go and that the culture allows a method for this. What comes across as barbaric to us may have been more humane to them.

You are correct that even though their hands appear to be tied there are many compassionate and caring health professionals operating today. This was demonstrated by the nurses and physicians staffing of the extended care facility where my mom spent the last days of her life. With advanced Alzheimer's there was no hope for a cure. She had a living will and DNR . During fleeting and infrequent periods of lucidity Mom adamantly protested any medication given to prolong life. She was tired. Unfortunately, one of the siblings refused to be parted from her Mother to the point of frequent and loud demands from the nursing staff for resuscitation. Thus she selfishly insisted on keeping our mother alive against her oft spoken and recorded wish. Eventually, one of the medical staff corralled this errant sister and publicly and stridently ordered her to never do that again. That same evening we all then said our last words of love and comfort with the acknowledgment that we understood and were OK with her need to leave this life. Our Mother quietly passes on shortly thereafter. I will probably never forgive this selfish sister for prolonging moms misery.

I truly enjoy life, but if at all possible it should be personal. I have stipulated in writing and in person to anyone remotely concerned, that when it comes my time... It's time. I don't intend the time of my demise to be decided by another human being if it can be avoided. Using whatever means available to me at the time I intend to go quietly to whatever/wherever is next.

I've even gone so far as to promise to come back for a brief visit to anyone that attempts to prolong my discomfort - for the purpose of pushing a tree down on their house. :-) They think I'm kidding but who knows? .

Sounds like you were very loving and compassionate with your mother. She was a lucky woman! It is our life and as such we should be able to decide with dignity how we wish to have our life terminated rather than someone making it for us.

My mother when she was 69 was by her 95 year old mother's side as she was dying of emphysema and diabetes. She told of the horror watching all the tubes and machines connected to her mother until at last she passed away. It traumatized my mother to no end.

When she returned home she forced my father to have a living trust created with me having power of attorney and power of medical attorney. They specifically have said if the prognosis is terminal they don't want machines nor tubes, just meds to allow them to slip away painlessly. That was four years ago.

I dread the day if it ever comes to that but they are happy knowing they've made their final arrangements.

My dearest friend in my entire life has MS...He has a cogent mind but his body is reduced to the use of his non-dominant hand...He is wise and knows how far he will go...I admire him.

I think I will live the rest of my life by his example.

Anyone who has watched a loved one suffer with no hope for recovery knows that an assisted suicide would actually be a gift. Suffering should not be prolonged...a DNR is absolutely necessary. This is a very touching discussion...thank you for sharing everyone. I'm still a little too "raw" to go into specifics...but this one really hit close to home.